We have forgotten kindness

The self-care accounts on TikTok and Instagram have said it all—we should put ourselves first.

In the last weeks, I have come across many videos and collages in my online space that throw around terms like “right headspace” and “emotional burden.” I have seen many TikTokers preach about the whims of cutting off anyone in your life who does not “serve you.” I have even seen influencers rant about conversations with their significant others and equate them to “trauma dumping.”

While I am glad to see us become more aware of our boundaries and limits as human beings, I am also confused by the messages of many of these videos. Maybe you don’t get along with acquaintances or classmates, but that does not mean they have “negative energy.” It is understandable to be too tired to talk to your friends on some nights, but reflecting on their lives through conversation does not make them an “emotional burden.” Most of the time, it seems that many people quickly confuse these normal and healthy relationships as toxic ones without closer examination of their interactions.

However, I don’t blame the current generation for falling into this set of ideals. We now tend to fall into the mindset that if our relationships are not currently giving us anything, then they must be taking something from us.

As a tired medical student with limited energy, I have reflected on these ideas too. Sometimes, I am too busy trying to pass my next exam or make it through the day to have patience for anyone I need to banter and bother. Most days, I am just trying to survive. In fact, we all are.

In the post-pandemic world, this is our constant chase for survival. And in this world, we apparently cannot afford to give out our energy or time to just anyone. Thus, we live in the idea that we must prioritize ourselves and our desires.

Most of Generation Z has learned this mindset from social media, and with this, it is unsurprising that we have turned the tables from how previous generations talked about mental health. We have quit skirting around compassion and refused those who don’t align with us. We are unforgiving in the face of anything tiring, and consideration is a challenge for us all.

However, in this modern age of self-care and survival, have we forgotten to be kind?

Empathy is a harbored rarity in today’s times. We blur our limits with people-pleasing and forget what is truly best for ourselves. We are contrived, awkward, and unapologetic with ourselves, even when we are wrong. We care too much about how we hold ourselves to figure out how to hold the rest of the world.

In our quest for individuality, most of us have forgotten to be kind. After all, what is kindness worth in the age of survival if you can’t put it in a resume or put food on the table with it?

I have always believed that heartless people are not born—they are made. The frustration of being taken for granted leads us to forget compassion, as is the fear of hoping we fit in that leads us to forget our conscience.

It is through our bitterness that we forget that we are meant to owe each other and carry the weight of each other’s burdens. No one is meant to suffer alone, and when our friendships become a transactional business arrangement rather than a foundation of love, we succumb to the inhumane systems of today.

In my favorite movie “Everything Everywhere All At Once,” one character does a whole monologue on the importance of being kind. He describes his childlike wonder and passion for life as his weapon against the rest of the world. For him, empathy is his main tool for survival, because when you realize how life is hard for everyone, it can be the only thing that helps. After all, as cliché as it sounds, we could all do our part to make this world a better place.

If only we could all think a little more like him. With his good sentiments in mind, I, too, would like to have a little bit more patience with the world and remember that kindness is our true legacy to the world and the generations to come. Even without the grandstanders or trophies, I will be happy to know that I left this world a little better than it was before.

Everyone on this planet could do with a little more kindness. I can only hope that we can all remember this every time we go out in the world.

And maybe, just maybe, we will remember how to love, too.

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Liv Licardo, 21, is a medical student at De La Salle Medical Health and Sciences Institute.