How Jennica Garcia dealt with her failed marriage
For actress/TV host Jennica Garcia, the most challenging part about being a single parent is ensuring that she has a healthy mental state at all times.
In a recent interview with Lifestyle, the actress admitted to taking medications for anxiety, body trauma, and panic attacks for two-and-a-half years. “This is why it is vital that my head space is not filled with fear of the future,” said the mom of Mori and Alessi.
Jennica got married to actor Alwyn Uytingco in February 2014. They broke up seven years later. “When you are a single parent, it’s common to feel the fear of getting sick and not being able to work. I used to constantly worry about how my children will survive if something happens to me,” said Garcia, who is the daughter of actress Jean Garcia.
Incidentally, she and the girls live with their Ninay Vera, who is not only the actress’ godmother but also someone who helped raise her as a kid. “I would worry about her health, as well. I’m afraid that if I lose her, I will no longer have help in raising my girls,” Garcia said of her Ninay (a portmanteau of ninang and nanay). “But living life with the knowledge that God is all powerful gives me the assurance that my children and Ninay will be fine.”
Forgiveness first
It’s never easy for children when their parents separate so we asked Garcia to share some pointers for estranged couples to help them make their kids easily understand and accept the situation.
“Before thinking about how a child would cope with what’s happening, the mom and the dad should first try to forgive each other and maintain respect,” she began.
Children are sensitive, Garcia observed, so they can tell when their parents see each other as enemies. “A marriage becomes broken when a grave mistake happens and the one that got hurt finds it difficult to live with their spouse. Forgiveness is difficult to achieve and the process toward healing can be life altering, but I hope you will remember that we are all sinners. Regardless of what pain your spouse has caused you, one way or another baka may naging pagkukulang ka rin,” Garcia pointed out.
One’s failure to care for or provide for their partner’s needs could have driven the other to do something that they can no longer look past, she added. “Let’s not look at ourselves too highly because we are all sinners. We should still hope for the other parent to live a good, healthy and successful life, so that if something happens to us, our children will be in good hands,” said Garcia.
She said it is important that children see that their parents, while no longer living under the same roof, are still friends and wish the best for each other. “We can only lift to God that our children see through our hearts and remain unbroken [by the separation],” she said.
Her daughters
When asked to describe her daughters in terms of their similarities, Garcia said “both are givers.” She explained this by recalling the time when, as a result of the separation, they had to transfer from a two-bedroom home to a studio-type condo unit. Garcia had to ask the girls, who used to have a huge toy collection, to give away most of what they had.
“If ever they want a new toy, a preloved toy of their choice would also have to be given away. To my surprise, the transition was not difficult for them. Over time, I didn’t have to ask. When they come home with a new toy, they choose one toy to let go on their own, put it in a paper bag, and hand it to our helper, Ate Cecil, to give to street children,” said Garcia.
Mori is a perfectionist. “In her class, she is the best in Math, and also excels in English,” said the proud mom. She added that Mori would often get stressed about her grades, even though Garcia would constantly remind her that it’s okay to make mistakes.
“Alessi unknowingly taught me how to be a gentle parent. She is highly emotional,” said Garcia.
Quoting Gary Chapman’s “The Five Love Languages,” she explained that Alessi would respond positively to physical touch and words of affirmation. “I don’t discipline her with a stern voice because she gets sad about it. When I talk to her with a gentle and loving voice, she understands the message a lot better.”
In a recent event that launched Garcia as ambassador of the beauty and wellness clinic Bioessence, Garcia said that single parents deserve their “me” time, too. “You really can’t pour from an empty cup. I learned this the hard way, but I’d like to think that I’m doing much better now,” she declared.
Her journey toward self-care led the actress to pursue nutridermatology. She graduated from a local esthetician school in August and is currently reviewing for her licensure exam. “To all single parents, our future can be bright. I hope you know that a failure in a relationship, married or otherwise, can also lead to a bright future.”
Garcia, however, said that she was never an impulsive and frivolous spender. “I very rarely spend P10,000 on a single item for myself,” she declared. “In the event that I do, I write this down on my planner and think about it for months. Now that you’ve asked, I realized that it is always for a bottle of luxury skin care.”
But Garcia said that she would not think twice about spending a lot if it is for a meal shared with her loved ones, or for a staycation with her kids.
“I feel happy when I get to feed my children and my Ninay delicious food, regardless of the cost. It makes working hard worth it,” the actress said.
