Moms can pole dance, too!
Motherhood is such a transformative experience that it literally changes the way women who’ve given birth are perceived by society. Suddenly, they are expected to look and behave in certain ways to make them worthy of being called mothers.
“You’re a mom now, you shouldn’t be doing that” was a comment that Michaelle Perez used to get a lot after having her only child 15 years ago. She now tells Lifestyle that she used to be bothered, because she only wanted to go out with her friends and do the things she loved.
In 2015, Perez discovered pole dancing, whose modern variation is associated with stripping and strip bars, but which has lately gained popularity as a sport and art form. It can now be called pole, and comes in different types such as pole fitness, pole heels, exotic, and sultry.
“I was getting overwhelmed by my day-to-day routine of working from home and being a new mom,” she recalls. “It felt like I was losing myself and missing out on life. So I made a brave decision to go to a pole studio and try it.”
She admits she felt “super conscious” wearing the usual pole dancing attire of bra top and short shorts. “Because my body had changed a lot after pregnancy, and it didn’t help that I had a sedentary lifestyle due to long working hours,” she explains.
Eventually, she got the hang of showing skin as it enables pole dancers, or polers, to get a better grip of the apparatus. She also tried her best to feel confident as she’s “always been an advocate of body positivity.”
Similarly, Joanne Marie Conda started her pole journey in 2015, but under different circumstances. She narrates, “I wasn’t really interested or looking for something new. But my high school friend was interested to try, so I thought, why not. Years went by and I found myself liking pole fitness not because you wear less clothing, but because I came to understand the sport. No, I did not feel uneasy wearing pole outfits.”
She remembers being unfazed even if she grew up with a “religiously-inclined family,” where female members were expected to “dress properly.” She points out, “When I became a mom, what other people were saying about what or what not to wear did not affect me.”
No reactions
When Conda would post about her pole sessions on social media, there would be no reaction from her parents and some of her family members. Perez’s posts, on the other hand, made some of her relatives and friends uncomfortable. But as they got better and became teachers, with Perez even joining competitions, they eventually got their loved ones to appreciate their chosen sport and art form.
Conda, who’s a teacher at Elite Aerial Arts, happily reports how her family reacts now: “They click the heart, and some of my aunties’ comments were uplifting. Some were even showing videos of my dances, and they were amazed and asked me how I could do it in heels.”
She’s optimistic she’ll get the same enthusiastic support when her recital classes perform on May 26 at the University Theater in Quezon City.
The poler moms have found steady and solid support from their daughters, who happen to be both 15 years old. Conda says of her Annicah, “She knows how hard I trained and worked for this. She’s proud of me and tells that to her friends.”
Perez’s unica hija, Dylan, even takes classes at PxA Dance Studio, which the poler mom co-owns. The teenager is joining the studio’s first recital on May 17 at the RCBC Plaza’s Carlo P. Romulo Theater in Makati City.
In the same recital, Raizza Pulido and her daughter Adrianna will perform as regular students in different classes. She says she’s excited to share another milestone with her 9-year-old, who takes lessons in aerial hammock.
Pulido began her pole journey almost 10 years after Perez and Conda started theirs, and pole dancing has apparently become mainstream. The newbie poler notes that her family and friends readily supported her newfound passion. She gets compliments when she posts her photos and videos, with a few inquiring about how to get started in pole.
“I once went on a playdate with my daughter and her friends asked me if I do pole dancing,” she says, “because apparently my daughter told them. Kids are truly special because they were genuinely curious about pole. Walang bahid ng stereotypes.”
She then points out, “And that’s why I like bringing my daughter to the studio. She gets to see free, empowered, and happy women in their element. I strongly believe that when our kids see the best version of us, it inspires them to be the best version of themselves. And I’m excited (to see) if my daughter ever wants to try pole, too. For now, it’s aerial.”
No shame
For moms who are interested to try pole but feel discouraged, Pulido says to just do it. She explains, “It’s an insanely great workout. You never know, you might just fall in love with it like I did.”
Conda’s advice is to do it “before thinking what other people will say,” and stresses, “It’s easy to judge without experiencing it.”
She mentions her case as an example: “When I became a young mom, I was so focused on being a mother to my child that I forgot that I am still me, a person. I can learn new things. Pole dancing helped me to keep my passion intact. It helped me broaden my knowledge and have a better perspective of people who are into pole and other arts. I became a better version of myself.”
Perez echoes the same sentiment: “‘Pag nanay ka na, dapat nasa bahay ka lang at nag-aalaga ng anak mo. (When you become a mother, you should just stay at home and take care of your child). That’s the mindset so many still hold.
“You’re expected to let go of your passions, your social life, your sense of identity—because all of it is supposed to be replaced by motherhood. And while I love my child deeply and being a mom is a huge part of who I am, it’s not all that I am.”
She then shares how pole dancing changed her life: “It helped me let go of the shame around embracing my sexuality. It gave me a healthier, more empowering way to stay physically active. More than that, it’s deepened my understanding of my daughter’s passions and how I can support and guide her.”
