Early start

It would be extremely difficult to remain unaffected by the blatant display of greed or not to be horrified at the proud, nearly shameless demeanor displayed by both the accused and the accuser. They must have learned and been tutored well by the masters of the game, who remain fearless of mortality and judgment day. These characters fully embody how power, money, and influence corrupt and can elevate anyone into the ranks of being an untouchable—of this world, at least.

Amidst the noise and the chaos, one cannot help but think if there is a future for our country, for the children we will leave behind, and the generations to come. I will choose to be deliberately positive, believing that experiencing the now, which may be the worst, can bring out the best in every one of us. Seeing how people are beginning to demand change and accountability sparks hope. It also brings into focus that we need to work on what we may have neglected, reinforcing in our own homes the importance of civic responsibility.

While civic education is part of the school curriculum, as parents or parent figures, we need to realize that we play the biggest role in shaping the way in which our children become responsible members of the family and the community. There is no such thing as starting them out too early, and learning will always begin in the home.

Writing about this brings back a memory of a story shared by a cousin, about how a mom gave the perfect answer to her son when he complained and asked for a new car. His car was so old and rickety, and was causing him so much embarrassment from the awful noises from its engine and loose bolts. Her reply, “Ayaw mo ‘yun, at least alam ng tao na padating ka na.” Tough love goes a long way in character building.

At an early age, we need to teach children that life does not revolve around them. Therefore, there should be no sense of entitlement, even if one has the means to live comfortably. In the family, everyone is expected to do their share, be it as simple as a household chore or keeping things neat and tidy. Their actions or lack of them can have untoward consequences that can greatly affect another. Always respect the rules of the home. These have a basis for keeping anyone in check and help instill the values of discipline, empathy, accountability, and shared responsibility.

In school, we should encourage them to be active participants or even be the leaders in activities that promote social awareness and responsibility. The various community immersions that were required of us and the fundraising activities were not only eye-openers, but experiences that brought such a sense of fulfillment from knowing that one can be capable of helping, or even instituting change. Of the many core memories that stand out, one was the time when the mother of a classmate invited us to raise funds for Cory Aquino’s presidential campaign. The P2,000 that we gathered braving the streets of Quezon Avenue had come from commuters and jeepney drivers. Remembering never fails to bring on the waterworks.

Encourage conversations and expose your children to political and social issues. You would be amazed at how much they know or how involved they want to be. At times, they may even take the initiative in planning a family or community project. Employ active listening and give them the respect and freedom to share their perspectives. Make time for them in your busy schedule.

The core values that we strive to teach, best exemplified in how we live and the experiences that we provide, are our only and true legacy as parents. There will always be peace in knowing that we have provided a basic foundation from which they can build and come into their own, trusting in how we brought them up. There is no rule book to follow, save for constantly reminding them to do what is right and what is good.

I end today’s column by reposting and lifting some lines from a beloved piece by Robert Fulghum on the life lessons learned in kindergarten, which was part of the very first article that I had written for the Philippine Daily Inquirer. May these serve as timely or even timeless reminders of how we should strive to be, regardless of age, status, religion, or political stance. This is what is expected of us as decent human beings.

“Share everything.

Play fair.