Feeling ‘worthless’ and ‘ungrateful,’ Alden Richards considered quitting show biz

From the outside, all seemed well with Alden Richards. But for three months this year, he found himself dealing with depression.

He felt “worthless” and “ungrateful,” he said, so much so that the thought of taking a break from show biz crossed his mind.

“Sometimes, when you’re depressed, you end up resorting to self-pity. And for the first time in more than a decade here in the biz, I felt that,” he told reporters at a press conference for “Family of Two (A Mother and Son Story),” an entry to the upcoming 2023 Metro Manila Film Festival (MMFF).

Alden wouldn’t divulge what it was exactly that drove him to despondency but said it was a combination of problems related to his family, career, business ventures and personal life. “It was more on my personal life, but I won’t talk about it anymore because it has already been settled,” he said.

In those dark moments, he admitted that he lost sight of the things that truly matter. “There was a point where I didn’t have a job. Or maybe it was just a feeling and I was being ungrateful. I didn’t think of transferring networks, but I thought about leaving show biz. I couldn’t find the motivation and was just ungrateful with everything, so I might as well leave,” he said.

Therapy projects

The films “Five Breakups and a Romance,” and “A Family of Two,” couldn’t have come at a better time. “It was these movies that got me through. The taping of the two films sort of overlapped. But they were like therapy projects. They really helped me, as well as the actors I worked with,” he said.“At the end of the day, these recent projects helped me realize that I was blaming myself. That was unfair to the fans, coactors and the industry that has helped me so much,” said the GMA 7 star, who turns 32 on Jan. 2. “Good thing I was able to get over it, that I didn’t end up picking up vices. I’m happy I was able to get back up. No one else will help us but ourselves … and prayers.”

Produced by Cineko Productions and directed by Nuel Naval, “A Family of Two” is Alden’s first project with the Megastar Sharon Cuneta. “Her film ‘Caregiver’ (2008) had such a deep impact on us. Working with her was a rare opportunity, and I would have regretted not accepting this project,” said Alden, who fondly calls Sharon “Mama.”

The story follows Maricar (Sharon), whose life revolves around her son, Mateo (Alden), whom she raised single-handedly. Mateo is bent on giving his mom a better life but reaches a point where he has to prioritize his relationship with his girlfriend, Czarina (Miles Ocampo).

Mateo decides to join Czarina when she moves to Singapore. But because Mateo can’t bear the thought of leaving his mother alone, he devises a plan to help her find a good man who will love and look after her when he leaves. The idea angers Maricar at first, but she realizes later on that her son’s intentions are pure.

“Doing scenes with Mama was easy because the emotions came instantaneously. It’s like we weren’t acting at all. She’s very good,” Alden said of Sharon, whom he described as “motherly.” “She was supportive of me. She writes me letters … And we enjoy similar hobbies. Our commitment to the craft and the industry is exactly the same. I truly appreciate our similarities. That’s one of the reasons we clicked.”

Constant reminders

Working on the movie brought back memories of his late mother and how she used to get him ready for school. “We have all seen our moms wake up earlier than everyone else to prepare our things. We listen to their constant reminders,” he said.

While these things can get a bit annoying as children reach their teenage years, there will come a time, Alden said, when you will miss all of it. “Sometimes, we get irritated when our moms get too clingy, makulit or expressive … when they hug or kiss us in front of our friends and classmates. But one day, those things will be gone and you will yearn for it,” related Alden, who lost his mother, Rosario, to pneumonia in 2008—two years before he entered show biz

As such, he urged everyone who still has parents to cherish them and not take them for granted. “When I already had the means to reciprocate all the things my mom has given me, wala ng chance, hindi na pwede. So, let’s normalize being expressive with our love for our parents. Let’s make the most out of these moments. Because one day, it will all be too late.”

It was his mother’s dream for Alden to become a star. But she never got to see her son achieve all the things she had envisioned for him. Still, Alden finds solace in the fact that he has made his mother proud.

“All the things I have been doing since I started in show biz are for her. This is her vision and dream for me. If I had the chance to talk to her, I would say I have fulfilled your dreams for me and I hope I have made you happy,” he said.

As for his personal life, Alden has long accepted that finding romance is something “out of my control.” And besides, personal life doesn’t only mean being in a relationship.

“I didn’t find it when I searched for it. So maybe it really is about the right timing, even if there are people on social media telling me that I’m getting older or that it’s about time,” Alden said. “I don’t see it as depriving myself of having a personal life or time. And there are different aspects to it. Staying at home, wearing a T-shirt and boxers to play games, working out in the gym, traveling with family, walking my dogs—that’s still my personal life.”

Alden will turn 32 in Jan 2. Asked what his birthday wish was, he said couldn’t really ask for anything more. “I want to continue deepening my relationship with God, because I neglected him when I was down and depressed. Now I know that being busy isn’t an excuse to not give Him priority,” he said. INQ