P13.195-M SSS tissue issue
This one is for newspaper humorists whom I wish I could sometimes be, for jokesters, TikTokers, and, sorry, for already irate Filipinos who do not need added vexations during this Christmas season. The case looks trivial because of the item in question—toilet paper. But the funds involved are not a laughing matter. The laughing matter is better left to those with a penchant for toilet jokes and the like, and there are plenty of them, like irksome brown matter that refuses to be flushed down the drain because, thankfully, they are trying to call attention. Something’s wrong with the plumbing, stupid.
According to news reports, the Commission on Audit called out the Social Security System for purchasing 143,424 rolls of toilet paper worth P13.195 million in 2024. This huge supply was way more than what the agency would need for two months. COA said 116,046 rolls were still with the supplier because of the lack of procurement policies regarding supplies and equipment. There were no supporting documents or memorandum of agreement between SSS and the supplier, only a verbal agreement between the two parties.
What gives? Why such an enormous purchase of something that is not even a lifesaving necessity? Paper clips and staple wires SSS cannot do without. But toilet paper? The COA noted the lack of planning and the fact that the amount used to pay for the yet-to-be-delivered supply could have benefited SSS pensioners. Lucky is the toilet paper supplier (COA, please identify) that received the cash even before the goods could be delivered entirely. Cash in hand can generate more cash, ICYDK.
Remember how, in a Senate blue ribbon committee hearing, the photo of the stack of billions in P1,000 bills kept in a private unit was shown? Humor me. How do 143,424 rolls of toilet paper look?
On this current tissue issue, I thought of that time during the COVID-19 pandemic when the supply of toilet paper was running out in Western countries, and people were scampering to supermarkets to buy their supply, only to find empty shelves. What a crisis indeed. Toilet paper was a staple for them. Filipinos were laughing and asking, ”Have these Westerners not heard of the ”tabo” or dippers filled with water commonly used to flush clean one’s soapy bottom?” That is, in the absence of the modern bidet. For most Filipinos, toilet paper is not enough. Soap and water, please.
In a hotel in Seoul, South Korea, where we stayed for a conference, the toilet seats were equipped with buttons for different purposes. Water for one’s butt was delivered warm or cold; pressure could be strong, gentle, or soft-spray. And there was a button for air-drying, too. This may look like toilet fetishism in these times, but why not?
I remember going into the mountain wilds in pursuit of human rights-related stories with members of fact-finding teams decades ago. This meant rugged terrain for days and sleeping in makeshift structures. Bathing in the river or nearby springs and doing one’s morning rituals in shady spots, tissue, tabo, and digging sticks in hand (also for warding off snakes) were de rigueur, if you may. I was teased for having a small tabo, but what do you know, “May I borrow your tabo?” While I am at this, I might as well recall how refreshing it was during an eight-hour mountain trek somewhere in Abra to drink spring water gushing out of a bamboo pole jutting out of the rocks. See, this issue of toilet paper supply has carried me down memory lane.
But why should SSS procure a mind-boggling supply of toilet paper for more than two months, which they cannot fully store or use? For the bewildered, needy hoi polloi, those who must tearfully beg for the SSS benefits they deserve, do SSS offices have toilet paper for them? Or, hey, you bring your own TP in the CR. (Only Filipinos say TP and CR.) High-end malls have toilet paper in their antiseptic toilets, but government offices do not offer such for ordinary taxpaying citizens.
This huge toilet paper procurement (single-ply, double-ply, virgin pulp?) brings us to the fact that unless found out, government agencies can get away with practices that raise questions and even suspicions. Not to impute wrongdoing, but this question begs an answer. Is this merely a lapse in procurement judgment or is it deliberate—because practical, economical, or, as Filipinos would now say, may something-something?
This tissue issue is minute compared to the billions, going into the trillions, of infrastructure funds that have gone to the pockets of scoundrels in government and private contractors, an enormous crisis currently rocking the Philippine Republic, sending citizens into the streets to express their outrage. And waiting for the axe to fall.
But, hey, toilet paper?
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