‘DustBia’ on Gen Z dating and why they prefer good ‘ol ligawan
If there’s one thing Bianca de Vera and Dustin Yu don’t agree with about Gen Z dating culture, it’s how fast-paced and overly accessible it has become.
“Isang text, isang DM, isang swipe, andiyan na agad. Mag-chat-chat ka lang, and the next thing you know, sila na,” De Vera tells Lifestyle Inquirer.
True enough, dating apps remove real-life barriers to meeting people, messaging apps allow constant communication, and social media gives a preview of someone’s life before you even meet them in person. The ease of connecting makes it just as easy to disconnect—and inevitably, to fall into the same cycle all over again.
But as someone who grew up watching romantic comedies, De Vera couldn’t help but long for the slower, more deliberate approach of old-school ligawan.
“Hinahanap ko lang siguro ’yong essence ng ligawan noon—’yong pagpapaalam sa mga magulang, personally bringing flowers to your home, handwritten letters,” she says. “These are the things I hope my generation can also experience.”
Besides, she’s not one for initiating—or getting into—those often ambiguous talking stages. And even without that straight-out-of the movie romance, friendship often serves as her starting point. “As much as some people believe that I date a lot of guys, or say, ‘’Di naman nababakante ’yan,’ when I see someone, it’s usually because I’m friends with that person first, or I have already built a strong foundation with him.”
Genuine effort
De Vera’s love team partner, Yu, shares the same sentiments. “Ang dali na lang magtanong sa chat na, ‘Can you be my girlfriend?’ Pero for me, iba pa rin ’yong traditional,” he tells Lifestyle Inquirer.
For the 24-year-old actor, there’s a sense of effort and genuineness doing things the old-school way that online interaction simply can’t replicate. “Makikita talaga ng babae ’yong effort mo,” he says. “Ramdam mo na pinaghihirapan mo ’yong isang bagay. At masarap din sa feeling ’pag may halong takot o kaba.”
And though modern dating habits may be convenient, they also come with their own pressures. Social media can unwittingly turn relationships performative. Some couples might feel a constant urge to post, show each other off, or compare themselves to others. Then there are those who get insecure if their partner doesn’t highlight the relationship publicly.
The good thing, though, is that Yu and De Vera—or “DustBia” as they’re fondly called—don’t need to rely on that kind of validation.
“I get people who feel that way. Valid din naman ’yon. If that’s their way of feeling secure, then ibigay natin. ’Di naman mahirap mag-post or show your appreciation for the person online,” Yu says. “But personally, I prefer na chill lang or mas private and relaxed…’yong tipong nasa gallery ko lang ’yong photos.”
De Vera, 23, adds: “Personal choice ko rin talaga to be more private ever since I was a kid. ’Di ako ma-post. If may dini-date man ako, mas gusto ko na i-gatekeep kung ano man ’yon.”
That said, they stress that these are just their personal preferences and aren’t knocking on anyone who seeks love via dating apps or shares their relationship online. In fact, Yu—though he hasn’t tried it personally—has friends who met their partners that way. And at the end of the day, De Vera says, “no one can dictate how we choose to date.”
“If that’s what you want to do and if that’s what makes you happy, then go for it. Walang judgment,” she says. “’Di rin naman doon nasusukat kung paano magmahal ang isang tao.”
Just a word of caution, though, Yu says: “Basta huwag lang magpapaloko kasi marami na ring mga scammers out there.”
Love and its messy parts
But it’s not all hurdles. As complicated and unpredictable as modern dating is, De Vera observes that Gen Z’s unfiltered expression of love reveals the beauty of authenticity.
“Kung magmamahal kami, ibibigay namin. It’s up to you kung gusto mo siyang tanggapin o hindi. We’re not afraid to show all of our insecurities or even the messiest parts of ourselves,” she shares. “I feel like our generation is just so real in showing our love. And I think there’s so much beauty in that.”
These are the same qualities that De Vera’s character, Savannah, embodies in “Love You So Bad”—an upcoming romantic drama film that explores different kinds of relationships and the potentially tough lessons that come with them. “I feel like she represents most women my age—Gen Z women who love freely and love from their heart; who embrace themselves and all parts of themselves,” De Vera says.
An entry to this year’s Metro Manila Film Festival, the movie puts a modern twist on the classic love triangle setup, aiming to reflect Gen Z perspectives on love and decision-making. It also banks on the kilig and chemistry that De Vera shares not only with Yu (DustBia) but also with Will Ashley (“WillCa”)—one of the narratives that captivated fans during their stint at the “Pinoy Big Brother (PBB): Celebrity Collab Edition.”
Savannah (De Vera) is a vlogger torn between two contrasting but equally compelling men: LA (Yu) offers an exhilarating, if a little turbulent, adventure; Vic (Ashley), on the other hand, is an academic achiever who provides calm and stability.
Filtering the noise
Directed by Mae Cruz-Alviar, “Love You So Bad” practically divides its audience into two teams, and much of its draw lies in the thrill and anticipation of who Savannah ends up choosing. With two strong love teams pulling fans in opposite directions, does De Vera feel the pressure?
“We just have to take in whatever matters and try our best not to listen to what doesn’t,” she says. “I think that has become a soft skill for us, especially after ‘PBB’ because there was so much unnecessary noise.”
De Vera is also grateful that even with dating speculations surrounding her and Yu—and fans who hope that there’s truth to those talks—their supporters still maintain a respectful distance. “They give us the space and boundaries we need,” she adds.
For Yu, the best way to handle pressure is to simply focus on their jobs and do them well. “That’s what’s important. There will be times when we might not reach their expectations, but that’s okay as long as we do our best and the fans appreciate our efforts,” he says. “It’s all about spreading love and positivity.”
