Wishful thinking

One of the things that never fails to lift anyone’s spirits is taking unexpected breaks from the usual routine and touching base with friends and relatives. Over dinner, the conversation included looking back at the year that was—inevitable and part of catching up since we last saw each other. Two people from the group were in agreement that 2025 was difficult, and they were quite eager to start afresh. To deliberately veer away from the muddle to preserve their sanity and balance while remaining grateful, they would rather choose to pick up the best from what has transpired and use it as a framework to build on for the coming year.

Checking in, reflecting, balancing, and building upon something that hopefully lasts and makes us better persons—this made me think of crafting a personal wish list. Let me begin with the nearly impossible to something within reach.

The first.

“I wish that we were wrong with the prognosis.” No doctor would like to verbalize this out loud. Call it a temporary delusion. We all know that life has a beginning and an end, and no matter how capable you think you are as a physician, you and I have limits. Our patient will slip away when God decides.

A few days ago, I called up a friend to thank her for all the kind referrals and the years of trust. Midway through, my voice cracked, which caused hers to break as well. It turned out that we were both fearing the worst for our patient, for whom she had employed multiple protocols. After agreeing that it looked like he won’t do well as we had hoped, we quickly cut the conversation before we both lost it. It has been a year, and against all odds, he is still with us. Putting the phone down and thinking that Christmas was just a few days away, the tears flowed. It’s okay to be called foolish in these kinds of situations—wishing for miracles and the impossible, if it meant keeping a certain amount of hope alive not only for his family, but selfishly for ourselves as well. It is the needed fuel that keeps us going, to make us the best of whatever it is we could medically offer. I struggle when the words “buy time” take center thought. It doesn’t erase the fact that the past months and those that lie ahead were and will be difficult, but whatever time we spent together still meant making memories.

The second.

Do you agree that there are certain Filipino words that have so much depth and worth, but when translated into English, they get sadly diluted? Malasakit in the olden days used to be a favorite, but it seems to have been overused and overutilized to the point of making an act that describes it a form of entitlement, and worse, “utang na loob.“ Nowadays, the word dangal has taken over. In Filipino it can mean: karangalan, katapatan, integridad, kapurihan, katanyagan, mabuting pangalan, prinsipyo.

My second wish is to hope that you will find it within yourself to still believe that we have people who are steadfast in upholding these values and live them despite the prevailing indifference and greed that surrounds us.

Through daily situations or through people, there will always be moments of reaffirmation. Mine came a few days ago, courtesy of a beautiful and heartfelt speech of a friend who spoke for the awardees who were being honored for their years of service and dedication to our institution. It was on the occasion of the annual Dangal Awards.

She began by thanking the committee that made the event possible, and how it was a beautiful gesture in giving importance to the work that they have done. Interwoven in her short speech was a personal and heartfelt story, which happened years ago, about a patient who had walked in and had to undergo an emergency neurosurgical procedure. Once the condition had stabilized, the patient and the family absconded. Despite this, she was thankful that she and the neurosurgical team had been of help. “How often can any individual be given the chance to help save a life?” She is right. All of us who are working with the institution are given that opportunity on almost a daily basis. To be of service to others will always be of immeasurable worth.

She ended by saying that life is difficult enough and we should always be ready to provide help to a patient, their family, a colleague, a co-employee, or a friend. It wouldn’t hurt to be kind. Together, as a community, we can face whatever challenges come our way if we work as one. We can show our love for our country by turning away from wrongdoings, being aware of the truth, upholding our rights, and continuing to provide excellent service to our fellow countrymen.

May her words touch you as Christmas draws near. Have a blessed holiday season.

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