Syd Hartha on the freeing journey to choosing yourself
Listening to Syd Hartha’s discography is equal parts a journey through different yet complementary soundscapes and a glimpse into ideas that can be raw, reflective, but ultimately as empowering as they are vulnerable.
For Scout’s The Listening Party series, the folk pop singer-songwriter takes us through different phases of love: from the melancholic longing of unrequited love in “Tila Tala” to the push and pull of love and hesitation in the face of connection in “Kung Nag-aatubili,” and finally, the bittersweet liberation of choosing oneself after letting someone go in “Ako Naman Muna.”
The latter is Syd Hartha’s latest song—released in November last year—which also marks a shift in tone for her self-penned songs. “Ako Naman Muna” was written after experiencing heartbreak from a situationship, she shares. “As a lover girl at heart, I kept on giving so much of myself to someone who made me believe we wanted the same thing—to truly love each other. It took me a while to realize that wasn’t the case. It broke me, but it also inspired me to make it up to myself, to put myself first again and give the same kind of love I kept giving away back to me instead.”
The song bears lyrics of disillusionment juxtaposed with a lighter arrangement that takes inspiration from easy, groovy vibes from bossa nova, Manila Sound, and alternative pop.
“The lyrics are already quite emotional and dramatic, so I didn’t want the song to sound or feel that way,” the singer explains. “I wanted the production to sound the exact opposite: light, easy, and most especially, fun to listen to because there’s joy and freedom in finally waking up, realizing your worth, and leaving a situation you don’t deserve to be in.”
Within the cozy interiors of Saglit by Flower Ranch Cafe, where she just recorded for The Listening Party, we sat down with Syd to talk about “Ako Naman Muna” and the evolution of her music—both in terms of sound and theme.
When you released “ako naman muna,” you said it was created after experiencing a situationship. It’s about making it up to yourself, loving yourself. What are the ways for you to show you love yourself? Or how do you show that you’re putting yourself first?
I love myself, so maraming ways talaga. Pero siguro ‘yong mga pinaka-related sa song, I say “no.” Kapag ayaw ko talaga. Grabe ‘yong boundaries ko rin kasi.
No’ng bata ako, medyo mahina pa siya, pero as I grew up, mas strong na ‘yong boundaries ko. Pag feeling ko nasa situation ako na hindi ko deserve or ayoko, for me, kailangan ko umalis agad. Isa ‘yon sa mga ways ng pagpapakita ko sa sarili ko ng love.
Pero siyempre meron din ‘yong mga everyday self-care ko na papakinggan ko lang ‘yong katawan ko. Pag gusto niya magpahinga, magpapahinga tayo; hindi natin pipilitin. Sabi ng body ko, kailangan kong gumalaw. Kailangang mag-work out ka today; hindi puwedeng tumengga ka sa bed—gagawin ko ‘yon. Mga maliliit na bagay na gano’n.
Before, you said it was hard for you to say no. Paano mo na-develop ‘yong setting boundaries? I feel like marami kasi sa atin ang nahihirapan with that.
Ang ganda ng question. Honestly, iba-iba siya sa bawat tao. Pero ako personally, siguro from experience na lang din. And mas bata kasi ako noon. Na-realize ko habang tumatanda na may choice naman ako. Hindi puwedeng masyado kang mabait sa lahat; hindi puwedeng oo lang ako nang oo, yes man, palagi akong sumusunod. Hindi puwedeng maging people-pleaser ako.
Matatapang kasi ‘yong friends ko eh. Sinasabihan nila ako na, alam mo, hindi uubra ‘yang sobrang lambot mo.
Wala namang masama sa pagiging malambot, pero kailangan mo maging assertive talaga sa mga gusto mo para makuha mo ‘yong gusto mo. At hindi deserve ng kahit sino ‘yong gawin ang mga ayaw nila.
What’s next for you? Do you have any upcoming songs?
Yes! Ang mga future ganaps ko, mag-re-release ako ng next single na collab. Surprise siya, pero baka alam niyo na kung sino. Collab siya ulit. ‘Yon ‘yong clue. Nagsusulat lang ako nang nagsusulat… para sa hopefully album.
Would you say the next album will be different in terms of sound or theme?
Compared to my older songs like “paruparo,” “ayaw,” it’s gonna be way different. Way different in the sense na ‘yong mga dati kong songs sobrang dark, mabigat ‘yong pinagdadaanan ko, sobrang bigat ng mga kanta. Ngayon kasi, habang umo-okay na rin ang aking mindset, nag-re-reflect siya sa mga kanta ko. So gano’n ‘yong mga nasusulat ko.
Definitely this time, ‘yong mga bago kong kanta mas magle-lean sa lighter side o kaya sa better perspectives. Medyo nasimulan ko na rin siya do’n sa “damdamin!” and etong “ako naman muna.” And ‘yong next song ko rin, medyo mas light na siya. Masasabi kong isang clue o isang pasilip: mas nature siya.
Watch Syd Hartha’s performance on The Listening Party on Scout’s YouTube channel
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