Breaking the bullying culture

It is disconcerting enough to know how widespread bullying is in Philippine schools. In the 2022 Programme for International Student Assessment, 43 percent of Filipino girls and 53 percent of boys reported experiencing bullying at least a few times a month—more than twice the corresponding Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development averages of 20 percent for girls and 21 percent for boys. Reading the details of an actual case, however, makes the violence behind these numbers even more concrete.

Last week, a disturbing video circulated online showing a student beating a fellow student inside a school restroom, including hitting him with a mop. Both were junior high school students from a prominent Catholic private school in Davao, where the incident reportedly took place following an earthquake drill. The school has since announced that the student found responsible was dismissed following disciplinary proceedings, while its inquiry into the involvement of other students continues. The student who was harmed and his family have also been receiving guidance and counseling support.

The school’s disciplinary action and efforts to protect the identities of the students involved are important. But even after a sanction has been imposed, the responsibility of guiding the students remains. As an educator, I find that one of our most difficult tasks is ensuring that consequences are accompanied by a formative approach. Young people must be guided to understand the seriousness of the harm they have caused, take responsibility, and hopefully, develop the intrinsic motivation to behave differently.

This is why experts strongly recommend describing the behavior or saying “child who bullied” rather than labeling them as “bullies.” Using labels suggests their actions are reflective of a fixed personality trait, rather than something that could be unlearned or improved over time. They can also keep us from understanding the child’s circumstances and what encourages the behavior. Avoiding labels allows us to name the wrongdoing clearly while also recognizing that the child remains capable of growth and rehabilitation.

Understanding those influences requires looking at a child’s context. For instance, some children who bully others are also being bullied themselves, making it important to address both the harm they cause and the harm they experience. Research has also found that bullying can lead to greater popularity among their peers. If bullying can bring about attention, higher social standing, and even group loyalty, then an intervention solely focused on working privately with a child addresses only a small part of the problem. Discouraging bullying also requires examining—and removing—the social rewards that could be allowing cruelty to be a source of power.

Bullying also thrives through power asymmetry and perceived impunity. That power may come from physical strength, wealth, or family influence. For instance, a young person who comes from a prominent family may feel he or she would be immune from severe consequences. When students believe that someone is protected because of their last name, reporting can seem dangerous or futile.

Rather than assume policies alone can curb bullying, schools must regularly examine their own culture. Anonymous surveys can help pinpoint when and where students feel most vulnerable, and whether there are gaps in supervision that leave them unprotected. Schools must also ask whether teachers apply the rules consistently or make exceptions. Students need to trust that the same standards apply to everyone and that fairness extends to how bullying-related complaints are handled.

Schools need clear procedures to investigate fairly, hear accounts separately, and protect the confidentiality of those reporting incidents and the students involved. Classmates also need guidance on how to report safely and support a targeted peer, especially when bullying takes place online or in private group chats.

Follow-through must include measures to prevent further harm and peer retaliation, alongside a plan to help those responsible change their behavior and monitor their progress. For these efforts to succeed, parents need to reinforce the skills and values being taught and apply consistent, nonviolent consequences at home. This begins with one of the most helpful—and often hardest—things parents can do: listen without immediately dismissing the complaint or the school’s recommendations.

In our school, we always try to remind parents that loving a child unconditionally includes holding them accountable. Hurtful actions do not make a child a bad person, but they do need clear boundaries and support to help them understand what drives the behavior and learn healthier ways of relating to others. Parents who repeatedly shield a child from accountability risk allowing these patterns to take root and damage their relationships throughout life. In trying to protect their children, they may ultimately do a disservice to them.

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