Are we there yet?

Working toward a goal can be painstakingly slow. And there will be times when we will question whether we are doing the right thing. If we believe we are, impatience can still set in and lead us to keep asking this question we posed as children to our parents when you would go on a long trip, “Are we there yet?”

There will be bouts wherein we would pine for the good old days when we were much younger and everything was much simpler.

But were they really simpler?

When we experience a challenge for the first time, it is likely to appear highly difficult, like climbing Mt. Everest. But as we experience more challenges in life, those that we went through before would appear to be not so difficult any longer.

Using long trips as an analogy, the feeling that distances seem shorter on the way back is a common feeling because of familiarity, expectation and attention. A study published in the journal Psychonomic Bulletin & Review (2011) found that participants had consistently judged return trips as shorter, even when the distances and durations were identical.

On the way to a new place for the first time, we normally feel uncertain about the route, how long it would take and what we could expect next. We read each and every milestone and soak in all of the new but never-ending scenery. Not knowing when all of these mental stimuli would materialize made it feel like a long trip.

On the outbound trip, there would also be an implicit goal, that of getting some place somewhere. Thus, even a pit stop at a gas station to perform bodily functions would serve as a delay in reaching the goal, thereby mentally magnifying the duration of the trip.

But on the return trip, we would already be familiar with the route. We would now know what to expect next. Therefore, our brain would process the journey more efficiently and make the trip feel faster.

The duration of a trip is not based on distance but on how our brain processes the experience. Familiarity, expectation and attention all have a say on how bearable or not a long trip can be.

Financial challenges

The same can be said for the financial challenges we face in life, like sending children to school, buying a car, purchasing a house and lot, investing in financial securities or a business and many more. After the first few forays, we become somewhat of experts on the subject matter.

How many times had young parents said that they did not know how to raise a child? But raise a child they did. In fact, it would even extend to them eventually saying: “Don’t talk to me about parenting. I know how to raise my own child.”

One of our daughters keeps on telling me and my wife that she would probably not be able to buy a house and lot of her own when she starts her own family. Admittedly, home prices now are so high that people have resorted to buying smaller living spaces and even in locations further away from central business districts (CBDs). Still, we are confident that she will manage, just like the thousands of couples before her.

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As an aside, the ongoing construction of mass transport systems like the MRT-7 and the Metro Manila subway that will soon render the current horrible commute between distant places a thing of the past will make buying homes outside of the CBD more feasible. Many urban centers around the country will soon follow.

No one said that life would be difficult. But there is a definite way to make it bearable. We just need to make our financial goals revolve around others.

It was once said: “We won’t find happiness when we’re only searching for our own. But if we care about someone else’s happiness, it will ultimately help us find our own.”

So, long for your destiny, savor the journey and enjoy the company.

Send questions via “Ask a Friend, Ask Efren” free service at personalfinance.ph, SMS, Viber, Twitter, LinkedIn, WhatsApp, Instagram and Facebook. Efren Ll. Cruz is a registered financial planner and director of RFP Philippines, seasoned investment adviser, bestselling author of personal finance books in the Philippines and a YAMAN Coach. To consult with a YAMAN Coach, email yaman@personalfinance.ph. To learn more about personal financial planning, attend the 113th RFP Program this Sept. 2025. E-mail info@rfp.ph or text 09176248110.