Christmas presence over presents
Question: There is discussion nowadays on how P500 could be enough for a “noche buena” meal. But that is just for food. I still need to buy gifts for my loved ones and friends. How can I celebrate Christmas on a lean budget? I don’t want to end up spending so much during the holidays and maybe even racking up sizable debt after the New Year.
Answer: Many have admitted that P500 could be enough to prepare a decent noche buena meal. But many also claim that the noche buena meal is to celebrate the birth of the Savior and should, therefore, be a feast, not just a simple meal. I will not pile on this but rather just focus on your budget for gifts.
In the first place, is gift-giving during the holidays a necessary thing?
The plain and simple answer is no. But gift-giving can take on a special meaning depending on the culture, family traditions and personal values.
So, how did gift-giving come about?
Among the earliest influences on the modern idea gift-giving was the festival of Saturnalia, which was held in ancient Rome. Saturnalia was held in December in honor of the god Saturn. The festival was marked by feasting, role reversal, decorating with greenery and exchange of small gifts.
There was also Yule, a Germanic/Norse tradition, which was a midwinter festival celebrating the return of the sun. Tokens of good fortune, food and handcrafted items were shared among people.
With the spread of Christianity, older customs blended with new beliefs. And the foundation for giving gifts at Christmas was the biblical magi who brought gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh to the infant Jesus.
In the 4th century, Bishop Nicholas of Myra, who later became a saint, was known for giving secret gifts to poor people. His legendary gift-giving spread across the world starting with Sinterklaas (i.e. the Dutch version of St. Nicholas) in the Netherlands, Father Christmas in England and eventually Santa Claus in America. A core holiday custom became giving gifts to children in honor of St. Nicholas.
From medieval to early modern Europe, gift-giving shifted from St. Nicholas’ Feast Day (Dec. 6) to Christmas Eve/Day. During this period, household gift exchanges became common among families and not just children. Christmas markets also began selling pastries, candles, toys and ornaments to celebrate the season.
There was greater emphasis on family gatherings, charity and exchanging gifts during the Victorian era (1800s). And Charles Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol” underscored generosity as a moral holiday value.
During the industrial revolution, efficiencies brought about by mass production made toys and goods more affordable, leading retailers to actively promote Christmas shopping and with it, the sale of holiday wrapping paper, Christmas cards, as well as to showcase department store Santas.
Today, holiday gift-giving practices are inextricably woven into religion, culture, commerce and family rituals. Societies around the world incorporate gift-giving in their own customs like epiphany gifts in Spain, New Year gifts in Japan and red envelopes during Lunar New Year.
The sad thing is that people can feel pressured to give gifts because of one or a combination of the following reasons: cultural expectation, reciprocity anxiety, social comparisons, guilt or obligation. Such pressure leads to gift-giving being mandatory.
Through the generations, however, the true meaning of gift-giving during the holidays—to honor the birth of Jesus—gets drowned in all the merry-making and materialism of this world. Jesus’ physical presence in the world was and still is the most valuable present mankind has ever received.
So, this holiday season, why not make your gifts more meaningful by making the receivers happy beyond just receiving material stuff?
Bear in mind that gifts are not mandatory during the holidays especially if they cause financial stress; they are given out of fear or obligation; they are transactional; and they are used to compensate for emotional gaps.
And to minimize or even totally avoid the financial or emotional pressure that can be associated with gift-giving, you can: 1) set monetary limits 2) switch to sharing a meal, activity or even volunteering your time to help out like with the least fortunate, or 3) give simple and inexpensive items, handmade tokens and letters.
Remember that presence over presents will have a more lasting impact on people you share with during this and any other season.
Send questions via “Ask a Friend, Ask Efren” free service at personalfinance.ph, SMS, Viber, Twitter, LinkedIn, WhatsApp, Instagram and Facebook. Efren Ll. Cruz is a registered financial planner and director of RFP Philippines, seasoned investment adviser, bestselling author of personal finance books in the Philippines and a YAMAN Coach. To consult a YAMAN coach, email yaman@personalfinance.ph. To learn more about personal financial planning, attend the _114th RFP Program this January 2026. To inquire, e-mail info@rfp.ph or text 09176248110.
