More (dirty) family business secrets


Family businesses are the backbone of the global economy, responsible for the majority of private-sector jobs and wealth creation in nearly every region of the world. But despite their strength, many of them carry silent risks—subtle pitfalls that are often overlooked until it’s too late.
These aren’t the obvious challenges like succession planning or shareholder disputes. These are the hidden traps that quietly erode performance, trust and legacy from within.
As someone who has advised family business conglomerates across Asia, the Middle East, Europe and the Americas, I’ve seen these traps unfold at the highest levels. Let’s uncover three of the most common—along with practical strategies to avoid them.
Your gene pool doesn’t cover all key positions
One of the biggest silent killers in family businesses is the assumption that all key roles must be filled by family members. There’s a natural emotional desire to keep leadership “in the family,” but this often leads to misalignment between roles and skills.
As the business grows, its needs often outpace the skill sets available within the family. Yet I’ve seen countless companies force-fit cousins, in-laws or second-generation members into critical leadership roles—without asking the most important question: Is this person truly the best fit for this job?
The most successful families I’ve worked with have made a crucial mindset shift. They treat the business as a high-performing machine that needs world-class talent. Family values and legacy remain at the heart of the company, but they don’t compromise when it comes to capability.
There are many global examples for this, too. Take the Murdoch family, for example. Despite a strong internal legacy, they’ve never hesitated to bring in outside CEOs and operational leaders to ensure global excellence.
Similarly, the Ford family had to learn to balance family involvement with professional leadership over decades—an evolution that helped preserve the business through economic upheavals and market disruptions.
If your business is growing, make it a rule: family first in values—but not in every executive seat.
Emotional bias: The invisible hand that steers decisions
Emotional bias is rarely spoken about in family boardrooms, but it might be the most dangerous force at play. It shows up quietly: in how performance is evaluated, in who gets second chances and in whose voices carry weight.
I recall a client scenario where the family matriarch, deeply respected and beloved, appointed her son as CEO. Everyone around her knew he lacked the hunger and discipline to lead. He was more interested in status than strategy.
But no one spoke up—because loyalty and emotion clouded the room. The result? Years of stagnation, key staff departures and a decline in profitability.
Bias isn’t just about nepotism—it can also be about outdated loyalties, personal guilt or the desire to avoid conflict. That’s why the best-run family businesses institutionalize external evaluation. They bring in outside advisors who aren’t emotionally entangled and can say what others won’t.

Founder rules that become shackles
Founders are icons. Their energy, sacrifice and vision often build the business from nothing. But here’s the hard truth: what worked brilliantly in year one may be disastrous in year 21.
Founders often leave behind “golden rules”—operating principles or beliefs that helped the company grow. But over time, the business changes. The market evolves. And those same rules, if left unexamined, become constraints.
IKEA under Ingvar Kamprad is a fascinating case. Kamprad’s obsession with frugality was legendary—he famously drove a Volvo until it fell apart and flew economy class even as a billionaire. While this mindset was powerful in the early stages, it began to clash with the company’s scale and global image as they grew. At some point, leaders had to reinterpret the founder’s vision without being bound by every letter of his lifestyle.
In one of our client firms, the founder had left a strict rule: “We never outsource.” That made sense in the 1980s. But in the 2020s, it led to inefficiencies, bloated overheads and missed innovation. Once we helped the family reassess that legacy directive, the business unlocked millions in profit and agility.
The message here is simple: respect the founder—but don’t fossilize their rules.
Lack of clear swim lanes between family and business
Another hidden risk is the confusion between family roles and business roles. When family members aren’t given clear mandates or when decision-making overlaps into emotional territory, conflict is inevitable.
For example, I’ve seen cases where a family member has no formal position but still overrides department heads due to their family name. Or where two siblings are co-CEOs—one focused on vision, the other on day-to-day execution—but neither truly accountable.
In one Asian family business conglomerate we advised, we helped establish “swim lanes”: a clear, written definition of what each family member was responsible for—and what they weren’t. Weekly alignment huddles, key performance indicators (KPIs) and regular third-party reviews made a massive difference. Within one year, board efficiency improved and internal conflict dropped by over 40 percent. Boundaries don’t restrict a family business—they protect it.
Overlooking the need for professionalization
Finally, many family businesses reach a size where informality and gut feeling no longer scale. But instead of professionalizing operations, they cling to familiarity.
Here’s the problem: informal decision-making is fast at first, but it breeds inconsistency, unclear expectations and misaligned incentives. When you don’t document strategy, governance or KPIs, you’re building on sand. Professionalization doesn’t mean losing the soul of the business. It means building systems that let it grow without burning out the family.
The best-run family businesses establish governance councils, formal boards, leadership succession plans and professional human resource systems. These aren’t bureaucratic add-ons—they’re enablers of sustainable growth.
Just look at companies like Mars, Inc. or SC Johnson—multi-generational empires that thrive because they’ve invested heavily in leadership development, talent management and governance. The heart is family—but the backbone is world-class business practice.
Three to thrive: Practical steps for family business owners
- Conduct an independent role review. Bring in an external advisor to assess whether current role holders—family or not—are truly fit for purpose. Ensure that job descriptions, KPIs and performance reviews are in place.
- Reassess founder rules annually. Set a yearly “legacy audit” where the family openly discusses whether existing principles, rules or unwritten codes are still serving the business—or holding it back.
- Separate family and business structures. Formalize a family council and a business board. Ensure that decision-making authority is clear and documented. Use third-party facilitation for difficult conversations and conflict resolution.

Tom Oliver, a “global management guru” (Bloomberg), is the chair of The Tom Oliver Group, the trusted advisor and counselor to many of the world’s most influential family businesses, medium-sized enterprises, market leaders and global conglomerates. For more information and inquiries: www.TomOliverGroup.com or email Tom.Oliver@inquirer.com.ph.