The secrets behind family business empires no one will tell you

(First of a series)

Most people admire great family empires from afar. They see the wealth, the iconic brands, the longevity of dynasties that stretch over decades. In my role as an advisor, mentor and strategist to family business empires and conglomerates around the world, I’ve developed a system and methodology to take family businesses from good to great to extraordinary.

I will share some selected guidelines and pieces of advice here.

Secret 1: They fight behind the scenes but never make it public

Every family business has conflict. Put wealth, legacy, and ego together and fireworks are inevitable. But the families that survive and thrive understand one thing: fights are kept behind closed doors.

Let me give you a negative example from my own experience. I once worked with an Asian family business conglomerate where two siblings openly fought with each other despite both running different parts of the business. One was the CEO and the other managed a highly profitable division. They clashed so severely that by the time the family matriarch brought me and my team in to professionalize and future-proof the business, she confided that her ultimate hope was not just to strengthen the company but to bring peace between her children.

What we found was even worse than she imagined. These siblings had stopped communicating entirely.

Imagine running a conglomerate where the key leaders do not speak to each other. It spiraled into a public feud that substantially damaged the brand. When family disputes become public, it gets ugly quickly.

The principle is simple: the family must remain a unit. There needs to be a “Chinese wall” around family conflicts—disagreements stay behind closed doors. They can bring in advisors or mediators, but they never let these conflicts spill out. That’s the hallmark of empires that last.

While my team and I worked on the business to professionalize it and take it to the next level, we also worked on the family. We established clear swim lanes, clear channels of communication and resolved all conflicts. By the time we were done, the business was more profitable than ever and the siblings who before would not even talk to each other now actually enjoyed each other’s company and ran the business together—in harmony.

This way, the founder could have peace of mind that not only the business would survive for generations, but her children would also enjoy lasting peace between each other.

Secret 2: They know most family members are not good enough

This is perhaps the harshest truth of all. Most heirs are not naturally capable of running a large conglomerate or even a billion-dollar enterprise. And the most successful families know it. Instead of pretending every family member is destined for leadership, they invest heavily in training, coaching, mentors and real-world experience.

They identify potential early and put their future leaders through rigorous development: rotating them across divisions, having them work outside the family business for a period and pairing them with seasoned mentors.

Here’s the principle: great executives are made, not born. With the right coaching and training, even very mediocre family members can become outstanding executives. I’ve seen this transformation happen countless times when my team and I gave mediocre family members the tools, insights, secrets and skills to become great executives. Empowered with the right knowledge and tools, they went on to become great executives, great leaders, who also had enough family time and balance in their lives.

Secret 3: They know a business school degree can only get you so far

A degree from Harvard or INSEAD looks impressive, but every family empire knows this truth: education is only the beginning.

Running a company can’t be learned in classrooms alone. The real lessons come from the grind of managing people, facing down crises, and learning from mistakes. That’s why great families create what I call “leadership laboratories.” They rotate their heirs through different departments—finance, sales, operations—so they understand the machinery of business from every angle. And they pair formal education with executive coaching.

Even renowned programs like the Harvard OPM program—designed specifically for owner-operators—often fall short. They lack the practical, real-world tools needed to elevate a business from good to great to extraordinary. My team and I see this all the time with clients who have attended such prestigious programs. The wisest families bring in external mentors, advisors and coaches with a long history and proven track record at the highest level.

Ever wonder why so many founders of billion-dollar businesses never completed a formal college or business school education? It’s because real mastery comes from experience, adaptability and the kind of learning that no classroom can replicate.

Hands-on experience combined with the right external expertise is what truly shapes them.

Secret 4: They think more long-term than anyone else

One of the defining characteristics of enduring family empires is their extraordinary long-term vision. They aren’t just planning a decade ahead; they’re often thinking 50 years or more into the future.

For them, it’s about laying the groundwork for long-term succession, building a deep bench of future leaders and ensuring that the business can thrive for generations.

I remember a conversation with the founder of a multibillion-dollar food conglomerate based in Asia. When I conducted a global expansion planning session over several days for their top management and CEOs of their various brands, he told me about his 50-year vision for the business. He knew, of course, that he wouldn’t be around in 50 years, but he wanted that long-term vision so he could impart it to his children and ensure the legacy would continue.

That’s the essence of long-term thinking: building not just for your own lifetime, but for the lifetimes of those who come after you.

Secret 5: They build idea meritocracies

Another hallmark of successful family empires is that they create environments where the best ideas win, regardless of who proposes them.

They understand that the future of their business depends on fostering a culture where innovation and smart thinking are valued above hierarchy or family rank. In these families, it’s not about who you are by birth, but about the value of your contributions.

They often implement systems to encourage open dialogue and ensure that the best ideas rise to the top. This means creating safe spaces for debate, inviting external perspectives and rewarding innovation no matter where it comes from.

The principle is clear: the empire survives when the best idea wins—not the loudest voice, not the oldest uncle, not the most entitled heir.