Why your people are lying to you
You may think: Why should they?
Well, the answer is simple. In most organizations, large and small, and in most countries around the world—from Asia to Africa and the United States—the higher you are up the corporate ladder, the more people BS you.
They don’t tell you things as they are. They do not want to be the deliverer of bad news. They will try to sugarcoat the ugly realities. And trust me, every business has plenty of those.
Persian messenger syndrome
This is a principle as old as mankind. Nobody wants to be the bearer of bad news. According to an ancient Persian story, rulers once executed messengers who delivered bad news.
To survive, couriers began hiding the truth—an act that helped push the empire toward collapse because its leaders were operating in the dark.
Today, this dynamic plays out when executives or individuals react harshly to difficult information, discouraging honesty and preventing real issues from being addressed.
If you are the CEO or owner of a business, this is even worse. In most cultures, the more money, power and status you have, the more people will fear you and pay you “too much” respect.
What do I mean by that? “Too much” means that certain topics will be completely taboo in your presence.
Real-life examples
The founder and owner of a European media conglomerate, a market leader in its country, was treated with so much reverence that even his own family did not dare to speak up when he entered a room.
This went so far that even his own succession planning, which was desperately needed because he only had a few years left to live, was never discussed by anyone in the family when he was in the room, because to speak of his death would be “inappropriate.”
Well, I will tell you what’s inappropriate: the s… show that followed after his death because no provisions were made. The court battles of his children about who gets the bigger share. The timely death of his wife was because she could not bear to see that the main legacy of her husband’s work was a family feud scandal.
That’s inappropriate.
And all could have been avoided by a few honest conversations.
Let me give you another example: the heir of a Middle Eastern banking empire who was neither fit nor suitable to lead. Everyone knew it, but nobody wanted to break it to the boss, the patriarch founder who was still running the empire.
When I told him the truth, he still asked me if there was a way we could keep his son in his current position and make sure there was no negative impact on the business. “Of course,” I told him. “We can create what we call a “cushion of competence” around your son so that no one really notices his flaws and lack of motivation. We can do this by putting very capable executives around him who will do what has to be done.” “Do it,” he said. And so we did.
But in my opinion, the best would have been an honest conversation between son and dad. And between the other top executives running the empire and the founder.
This would have cleared things up long before.
Managers are not your friends
A different example from the food industry. A 47-year-old family business. Even the ones with the longest tenure, including the chief operating officer who has served more than 30 years at the company, do not bring the bad news to the president, who is also the owner. This “bad news” included highly relevant facts about people, human resources (HR) management and the head of HR.
Among them was the fact that a lot of people who were promoted actually got their raises only a year later, meaning they were promoted on paper, but in reality, they still kept receiving the same old paycheck. How is that for bad motivation?
Or another example was that new hires got more salary for a position than people who had been in the exact same position but with more tenure. How does that make sense? And how does that reward loyalty?
Long story short, the head of HR in the organization had to go. But for the owner, it was all glam and glory, because no one told him what was actually happening.
Solution 1: Reward bad news
I literally mean that. If someone brings you bad news, don’t lash out at them; praise them. Give them a raise if they do this repeatedly and often. Praise them in front of others for their behavior. Do whatever it takes to promote bringing you bad news as the right behavior.
Before long, you will be amazed at how much that changes your entire perspective and how many skeletons come out of the closet.
Solution 2: Do an X-ray—get outside experts to show you reality.
This is what we do. When a business owner calls on me and my team to future-proof their company, make them more profitable, pivot or expand, or set them up for radical growth, the first thing we do is an X-ray.
What does this mean?
This is a series of conversations between us and top executives, and—if need be—middle managers in a secure and safe and confidential one-on-one setting to have some no-holes-barred, cut-the-BS kind of conversations about what is really going on.
Then my team acts as a group of detectives in a murder investigation: We triangulate, cross-verify and do whatever it takes to get to the truth of what is really going on in the business, and to find as many closets with skeletons in them as we can.
Then we paint an accurate picture of that reality, analyze it, and then present our findings to the owner and CEO.
Now, of course, this is better done by outside experts, who people trust because they have no bias, no stake in the game, and are not from the same organization. But you can do this yourself, in your own organization, if you create enough safe spaces and know how to have these one-on-one conversations to get to the bottom of things.
Just be careful: We have had countless clients with regular yearly “management interviews,” or “HR employee feedback” conversations that were absolutely useless because people are so afraid to tell the truth. You have to create a culture that thrives on creative disagreement, meritocracy and honesty—in short, telling and seeing things as they really are.
Solution 3: Obsess over what you might be missing.
This is for your personal mindset. Ray Dalio, an American self-made billionaire and hedge fund manager, has said: “If you worry, you don’t need to worry. And if you don’t worry, you need to worry.” What he means is: “worry about what you might be missing.” Obsess over that.
The principle that is key here is: As a business leader, as an owner, a CEO, you need to see reality as clearly as possible so you can make the best strategic decisions.
Obsess over what you might be missing. Get advice from outside experts to help you achieve clarity, see the low-hanging fruits and uncover all the blind spots that can destroy your business.
Remember: A small hole can sink an entire ship!
Three to thrive
- Reward bad news.
- Do an X-ray—get outside experts to show you reality.
- Obsess over what you might be missing.
Tom Oliver, a “global management guru” (Bloomberg), is the chair of The Tom Oliver Group, the trusted advisor and counselor to many of the world’s most influential family businesses, medium-sized enterprises, market leaders and global conglomerates. For more information and inquiries: TomOliverGroup.com or email Tom.Oliver@inquirer.com.ph.
