A guide to your desired life a year into the future
How happy are you with the year that just passed? If you were to do it all over again knowing what you know now, what would you change?
It’s that time of the year again, the moment when one chapter is about to close, slowly giving way to another beginning. It’s a great time to do some checking on what has been and what will be.
John Dewey, in his 1933 book, “How We Think,” says that “experience alone doesn’t necessarily lead to learning, but rather, it’s the reflection that makes the experience meaningful.” Reflection is helpful for increasing self-awareness, and informing how we want to live in the next 12 months.
With the vast information available on the internet, everyone has become a psychology major. The term “inner child” has become part of our daily language, referring to trauma and wounds from childhood.
The inner child is a metaphor to refer to parts of us that were wounded and frozen in time. People retort, “What will I do for my inner child?” While it could be helpful to decide on our lives through this lens, it might also be limiting. If we base what we will do on what the inner child wants, we may not grow up from that thinking and way of seeing the world. For this year, let’s shift perspective and obtain wisdom from a wiser future self.
The gift of imagination allows us to design how we can think, live, and behave in a way that’s very different from how we do today. Take a moment and think about your future self exactly a year from now. Make it as detailed and as vivid as you can. Think of where you’ll be, what you’re wearing, who will be with you, and how you’ll feel. Based on that, ask yourself the questions below, and let them be a guide to your desired life a year into the future.
Decisions and perspectives
Who would you want to be? In a year’s time, how different do you want to know yourself compared to today? It could be as simple as being less triggered by a person or a situation. You could be a kinder and more compassionate person. You could feel more relaxed and accepting of yourself.
What would you want to have done for yourself? What have you been wanting to do and been putting off to a later date? It could be a new hobby you’ve been wanting to try, or a place that intrigues you. Is there an experience you’ve been dying to have that you haven’t done yet, because you’ve been putting others first? This just might be the year to learn to put yourself first.
What decisions would you want to have made by this time? It could be as simple as taking care of yourself more. What small decisions do you need to make to put your physical, mental, and emotional health a priority? Is it adding some greens to every meal? Do you need to say “no” more often? Or it could be a life decision you’ve been sweeping under the rug that will finally liberate you once you face it.
How have your stress and anxiety levels been reduced compared to the past years? Most of what causes our stress is what happens inside our head, not what’s outside. Think of a perspective that needs to change, expectations that need to be lowered so you’ll be more relaxed.
Life-giving relationships
What relationships did you invest in more? What did you do about those that have drained you to give space to more life-giving ones? What we pay more attention to grows. Some people support us and make us thrive, while others take more away from us. Which ones did you choose to keep, and which ones had to be deprioritized?
How meaningful is your life? A sense of purpose gives us that push when the road gets bumpy. It fuels the fire in our eyes and gives us hope when life becomes gloomy. What do you want to contribute to that will give your existence more resolve?
Let your answers to these questions be your North Star as you navigate the next 365 days.
Many people choose to only think of positive things and ignore what’s negative. “Just be grateful for what you have,” they would say. This could be helpful in some situations. But if we ignore everything that’s negative, we lose the chance to transform them into something positive.
Most negative experiences have in them precious information to steer us in the direction that will lead to a better life. What pains us and drains us points us to what will give us more life and happiness. Choose better, live better. May the next year be better than this year for you.
The author is an executive coach and an organizational development consultant. You may reach out to her through coachsheila.tan@gmail.com
