A wimp’s guide to Universal Orlando
For your next family vacation, consider a cruise. And one that departs from Port Canaveral, like Royal Caribbean’s newest offering Utopia of the Seas, so you can also enjoy Orlando, Florida’s many theme parks before or after you sail.
“If you’re a family, that’s a great vacation… What kid wouldn’t be happy with that idea? They can go to Disney, Universal, and also enjoy Royal Caribbean’s Utopia of the Seas and Perfect Day at CocoCay. I wish I was a kid. That’s pretty good,” said Michael Bayley, president and CEO of Royal Caribbean International.
A super charged family adventure—what could be more fun?
I got a little taste of this when, by sheer luck (it felt like a miracle, really), my brother Powie was also going to be in Orlando on the day of my arrival—for just 15 hours, before he had to get on his own cruise.
When I realized that the sun was still shining brightly outside as I waited for the baggage carousel to spit out my bag, I called him. “Hey, we can go to Universal!”
We learn new things about our family members every time we travel and have new experiences with them. And on this trip, I realized that my brother and I have the same theme park persona: We’re both wimps. But Universal Orlando has plenty to offer, whether you’re a coward or not.
We enjoy the environment, the exploration, the eating, but not the exhilarating rides. I can do scary (Halloween Horror Nights are my jam) but I can’t deal with speed, drops, or anything that will make me dizzy. My brother and I are both prone to motion sickness so we get our thrills elsewhere—from food, mostly.
And so our first stop at Universal Studios Florida was Central Park Crepes, where we grabbed Strawberry Hazelnut Crepes. They were filled with generous amounts of Nutella, Nutella mascarpone, and strawberries, and they were so good that, a few hours later, my brother wanted to eat them again—but alas, we were already at Islands of Adventure.
Three theme parks
Right now, there are three theme parks to enjoy at Universal Orlando: Universal Studios Florida, Islands of Adventure, and Volcano Bay, which is a water park. But soon, there will be four, as Universal is opening Epic Universe in 2025.
Epic Universe will be home to Florida’s Super Nintendo World and four other worlds: Celestial Park, Dark Universe, How To Train Your Dragon–Isle of Berk, and The Wizarding World of Harry Potter: Ministry of Magic.
But you don’t need to wait for Epic Universe to get your dose of Harry Potter magic. Both Universal Studios Florida and Islands of Adventure each have their own Wizarding World and have attractions for wizards and muggles.
Universal Studios Florida centers on movie- and TV-inspired attractions. That’s where you’ll find E.T. Adventure, one of the park’s original rides, Fast and Furious: Supercharged, Despicable Me Minion Mayhem, Men in Black Alien Attack, Revenge of the Mummy, Transformers: The Ride, and more.
Islands of Adventure is the place for thrill-seekers. It has the most intense rides like Jurassic World VelociCoaster and The Incredible Hulk Coaster.
But even scaredy-cats like me and my brother had a lot to enjoy at Islands of Adventure. I say, go to both theme parks—and add Volcano Bay to the list as well if you and your family love waterparks.
If you want to be able to switch theme parks at whim, get Park-to-Park Tickets, which give you access to both Islands of Adventure and Universal Studios. Park-to-Park Tickets are a must for Harry Potter fans because they give access to Hogwarts Express, which takes you from King’s Cross Station, which is at Universal Studios along with Diagon Alley, to Hogsmeade Station at Islands of Adventure, and back. Oh yes, you can ride the train from one theme park to another. You can also walk, of course, the parks are not too far from each other, but why miss out on the magic?
Hogwarts adventure
My brother and I headed to King’s Cross station, feeling like we had been transported to London. We walked through the brick wall and found ourselves at Platform 9 ¾. There were suitcases that looked like they belonged to Hogwarts students—there was even a white owl that turned its head to look at us. “Oh my god, is that Hedwig?” I whispered to Powie.
We boarded the train and were greeted by a conductor. “Welcome to Hogwarts Express. Please remain seated or I will turn you into a chocolate frog.”
Hogwarts Express is more than just a train ride. I won’t spoil it for you, but let’s say you might just catch a glimpse of Harry, Hermione, and Ron on your ride. If you or your kids are big Harry Potter fans, you need to ride the train both ways because the experience is different each way.
I watched Powie’s eyes widen as we entered Hogsmeade, just as they did at Diagon Alley. The Universal team has really outdone itself in creating their Harry Potter attractions, building immersive lands that make you feel like you’ve stepped into the books or movies. There are rides, too, for the more courageous: Flight of the Hippogriff, Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey, Harry Potter and the Escape from Gringotts, and the super popular Hagrid’s Magical Creature Motorbike Adventure.
But for us, the first order of business was grabbing some butterbeer. I always go for frozen, while my brother chose the regular one. The lady serving butterbeer said, “Straw for frozen, mustache for regular.”
He did get a butterbeer foam mustache. We peered at the store windows (so much to see there) and made our way to Hogwarts. We were right in time for the Hogwarts Always show. Projections and lights transformed the castle, taking us through a school year at Hogwarts and punctuating it with a fireworks display.
Hearing Professor Dumbledore’s voice made me feel emotional, and made me shake my head at how she-who-must-not-be-named has tainted the world she built for so many fans.
Express Passes
Powie and I walked through Jurassic Park and ended up in front of Skull Island: Reign of Kong. At this point, we had been at Universal Orlando for hours and the only ride we’d gone on was Hogwarts Express, which wasn’t even really a ride. Our Express Passes were wasted on us.
(If your family members are big on rides, and if budget permits, get Express Passes to save time and avoid the long lines. And if you plan on going on a lot of rides, try not to bring bags so you won’t waste time putting your stuff in lockers at each ride. A fanny pack would do.)
“What about this one?” my brother asked, gesturing to Skull Island.
I said, “But could we handle it?”
We—two people with tattooed arms—walked up to the attendant and asked, “Sir, is this ride scary?” (Yes, we have no shame.)
“No, it’s super chill,” was the reply. So in we went and I’m so glad we did. We explored Skull Island aboard an expedition truck, encountered predators, and got caught in a battle between King Kong and the Vastatosaurus Rex. It was so much fun—and we didn’t get dizzy. Seeing that giant King Kong is a memory I’ll keep forever.
That was plenty of excitement for us (told you, we’re wimps) and so we headed back to Universal CityWalk Orlando, which has so many restaurants. We grabbed takeout from The Cowfish, known for its sushi burgers, and then got on one of the water taxis back to the hotel.
Water taxis
Ah, yes, the water taxis—one of my favorite things about Universal Orlando and one of the reasons I recommend staying on-site if you’re planning to go to the parks. The water taxis make getting to and from the parks a pleasure.
Universal has different hotels you can choose from, and staying in one gives you access to special theme park benefits like early admission. I was staying at Loews Sapphire Falls Resort, which has spacious rooms and a beautiful pool.
I had a two-day two-park ticket so the next day, I got on a water taxi to head back to the parks, this time solo.
TMI warning, but I think it’s important to share in case it happens to you: On my way to the park, I realized I had gotten my period. I panicked but stopped when I found out that all I had to do was go to the Walgreens-sponsored First Aid Center at Guest Services. There, I told a kind man my problem and he handed me some pads, no charge. He just logged my name.
This time, I started with Islands of Adventure (so I could take Hogwarts Express the other way—but that’s much later). I spent time at Seuss Landing, grabbing buffalo chicken tots from Green Eggs and Ham for lunch, before riding The Cat in the Hat and the High in the Sky Seuss Trolley Train Ride which I loved. It’s a great way to enjoy the beauty of the theme park. (Yes, I can handle kiddie rides, as long as they don’t spin too much.)
One of the highlights of my two days at Universal Orlando was definitely the Raptor Encounter at Jurassic Park. Meeting Blue was a thrill (she tried to eat my hair) and also a hilarious experience, thanks to her handler.
On my way to Hogsmeade Station to catch the Hogwarts Express again, I got to see the Hogwarts Frog Choir. I rode the train to King’s Cross Station and said hello to Dre the shrunken head at the Knight Bus before heading to Diagon Alley. I was there for one thing: butterbeer ice cream—it is so good it has become my favorite form of butterbeer. I got in line at Florean Fortescue’s Ice-Cream Parlour and waited for my turn as the Gringots Dragon breathed fire above my head.
Knockturn Alley
It was such a hot day that my cone and I sought refuge at Knockturn Alley which was nice, dark, cool, and had benches so you can rest your feet. That’s my tip if you’re going during the summer: Escape the Florida heat at Knockturn Alley or keep going for indoor rides—there are a lot of them.
But the weather in Florida changes so fast. One second, I was getting scorched by the sun, and the next, it was pouring rain and my phone received a “severe thunderstorm warning.” I stayed on the comfy bench, finishing my soft serve, waiting for the downpour to become a trickle.
I also rode E.T. Adventure. That ride smells amazing—it smells so good that some companies have even recreated the piney, woody scent in candle form. Then I went to Universal Orlando’s Horror Makeup Show which is a must-watch. One of the funniest bits was when one of the hosts told an audience member, “This isn’t Disney, kid, I don’t have to be nice to you.”
Speaking of Disney, I had always assumed that Dole Whip was just a Disney thing, so I was thrilled to find it at Schwab’s Pharmacy. I love the old-school ice cream parlor feel of that place. And I loved the Dole Whip. Pineapple soft serve? Yes, please.
I heard that Wimpy’s burger, the empanadas near Jurassic Park River, the jacket potatoes near the Knight Bus, and the tacos at Bumblebee Man’s taco truck are good, too, but I didn’t have space to try them all. Maybe next time.
I may have skipped the most thrilling rides at Universal Orlando, but I still had a blast. I watched a dragon breathe fire, flew outer space on a bike, came face to face with King Kong, and even met a dinosaur. Not bad for a coward.
