Cures for homesickness
For a while, Bretman Rock’s book “You’re That Bitch: & Other Cute Lessons About Being Unapologetically Yourself”–which tells his journey from being a Filipino immigrant to an internet icon–was the cure to the occasional homesickness I had while living overseas.
Ironically, homesickness hit hardest early this year, after my first homecoming in Manila. Perhaps it was reconnecting with family or catching up on the tea with friends, but that time, Bretman didn’t help, neither did the wet Swedish winter.
I was longing for the comforts in my home country (beaches, dentist, derma!) and at the same time fighting for belongingness in my new country since I really worked hard on my integration, learning the language, and rebuilding friendships and networks. So, I embraced the melancholy until it passed, but homesickness is a common topic among Filipinos I connect with–that, and where to source Asian ingredients.
There were around 2.16 million overseas Filipino workers (OFWs) from April to September 2023 according to the Philippine Statistics Authority, not including Filipinos holding foreign citizenships like Bretman.
In the study “Separation anxiety, adjustment and loss experiences among Overseas Filipino Workers,” Rogelio Quiroga Jr. identified “common struggles such as homesickness, cultural adaptation difficulties, and emotional distress due to familial separation and personal losses” among Pinoys in Japan.
The International Review of Social Sciences Research also showed that “participants demonstrated resilience through coping mechanisms such as maintaining strong family connections, engaging in peer support networks, and developing adaptive strategies for workplace and cultural integration.”
My homesickness strategy was keeping connected with my family through group chats and calls, and checking in with longtime friends like Paulie Mora who have been working in South Korea for seven years as an urban development professional.
‘Look for Filipinos’
“My top tip is to look for Filipinos near you or any group, even online. It can expand from there. Sometimes, it is enough to just be chatting in your own language,” he said. “But don’t expect the friendships to be as deep as the ones you make from college, like us.”
Nursing college is how Christelle and Angelo Matanguihan met before building a life and establishing a Filipino community in Umeå, a city in northern Sweden that has the tranquility of their hometown in Batangas.
“We often gather for a meal or special occasions, and share classic Filipino food such as leche flan that Christelle loves making. These moments of sharing food, laughter, and stories in our native language remind us of home,” Angelo said. “It’s about creating that sense of family and belonging away from our homeland.
Digital marketing consultant Happy David, who moved to New York almost 16 years ago, also suggested connecting and cooking: “I spend more time with my Filipino friends, cook adobo or sinigang. I go to Woodside which is now called Little Manila in Queens.”
Jerick Parrone, senior communications business partner in Switzerland, has been living overseas for 17 years. He said that “homesickness comes in waves.”
“For me, it started by accepting that homesickness is natural when you live abroad. Then I focused on what I can control or change: I regularly Facetime home. I cook my favorite food or connect with the Filipino community.”
‘Watch funny Filipino reels’
For physiotherapist Vera Tandog, being active on social media and on the road helped. She recently finished an ultramarathon–a 162.8 km, 28-hour trail run in Australia where she has been working for almost six years.
“Facebook is key. Watching funny Filipino reels keeps me entertained and updated. It’s also how I communicate with family. I also enjoy the outdoors a lot, like I always did back in the Philippines,” she said.
But does homesickness ever end?
It takes time, said Joe D. Espiritu, who has been working in a global leadership organization in Saudi Arabia for 18 years. “At first, it’s all about excitement and the promise of better opportunities, but homesickness is not just about missing family and friends but also the life you left behind.”
He added, “As you adapt to your new environment, you might even find a lasting fondness for it. Seek out fellow expats; they’re your lifeline! Whether through religious gatherings, sports groups, or community events, you can find like-minded individuals who understand your struggles.”
For many in the Filipino diaspora, moving overseas for family or opportunity comes with waves of worry. Homesickness often fuels the annual trip home despite limited vacation days and crazy ticket prices, and when the anxiety rolls in, I’ll let Bretman, a Gen Z, remind me, an older millennial, of where I came from and how far I’ve come so far.
