How a gang-rape survivor is making a change
At 18, Phoebe Nicole Fructuoso was gang-raped by three “friends” and an older brother from a group she just met. They were drinking at a neighborhood resto-bar and continued at a perpetrator’s residence. “I was unconscious and woke up to that kuya on top of me,” she recounted.
Now 26, the gang-rape survivor is the founder of influencer marketing and events agency Mad Media Manila and nongovernmental organization Promoting Awareness, Victors’ Empowerment (Pave) Philippines.
Pave’s mission is to end rape culture and promote mental health awareness through education, advocacy and community engagement.
It aims to empower individuals to live with dignity, free from the fear of sexual violence and with the resources to address their mental health concerns.
“I could only cope because of my faith,” said Fructuoso, who has left all her regrets behind to focus on her spiritual growth and purpose.
“I’ve had multiple seasons of darkness in the past eight years, from substance abuse to grief to losing my self-worth in boys and bad relationships. There are so many things my younger self would have wished she did or didn’t do, but today there’s nothing I would change now that I’ve fully healed from it all. Because of everything God has carried me through, I get to speak to so many survivors and people in seasons of trouble—a calling I’m fulfilled to live out.”
Others wouldn’t want to go public with this. Why did she? Doesn’t talking about it relive the horror and trauma?
“I have healed and I don’t have shame in what happened. No one should. The shame should not be on the victim or survivor but on the aggressor. My advocacy revolves around giving the voiceless their power back,” she said.
Been through hell
How does she handle trolls who take her bravery the wrong way (i.e. “papansin ka lang,” “KSP,” “you were asking for it”)? “Nothing. I’m not trying to prove myself to anyone. I’ve lived most of my life misunderstood, so the opinion of strangers doesn’t matter to me—why should it, right?” said Fructuoso.
“Most people only see the tip of the iceberg. My identity is in Christ and Him alone, not in the world or what people say about me. With a firm foundation, no attacks against my character offend me. I have been through the worst, my case was talked about in multiple schools, and it was hell for my 18-year-old self. Rumors were spread about the gang rape being an orgy and the perpetrators even spread a fake nude photo of me and would talk about just killing me so that there would be no case,” she recalled.
“Every abuse victim’s character will be attacked in court, for the battle is words against words. If you don’t have your identity rooted in Christ, the legal process will be the death of you. I know who I am, and whose I am. I’m not defined by what happened but by Who healed me.”
What would she advise someone who is in the same situation?
“You are NOT alone. The Pave community will welcome you with open arms. Healing will be a long and hard process but dwelling is hard, too. Having people who understand you helps a lot. Rock bottom will teach you lessons mountaintops never will, and what Satan meant for harm, God meant for good. Seek Him and find peace in the chaos.”
How did she get the idea for Pave?
“I had a dream of a woman getting raped. Then I saw my feet as I was showering in what seemed to be a dormitory bathroom. The communal shower drain was in front of my feet and there was blood flowing from my right. I was boggled for days, wondering why I had a rape dream, for I had long healed.
“Then, our pastor preached about the Good Samaritan and asked ‘How often did you know people were suffering and didn’t do anything to help?’ I started to tear up and had a vision of starting a nongovernmental organization (NGO) to provide free mental health and legal counseling despite not knowing where to pull funds. I realized that I was not the one bleeding anymore and that I shouldn’t wait to become a billionaire to start something. I told my girl friends beside me why I was crying, and they wanted to support me,” she said.
Confirmation
Fructuoso prayed for confirmation and provision if her idea was truly God’s will. In less than 24 hours, two men reached out to her, sharing testimonies of their friends who were raped and how they wanted her to meet them, so she did.
“I took it as an absolute yes from God and started chasing sponsorships for my ideas,” said Fructuoso. In November, they launched Pave with a self-defense class taught by 10-time gold medalist and international Wushu champion Janice Hung, with partners Pretty Huge and FPJ Panday Bayanihan for funding in time for the United Nations Women’s 16 Days of Activism against Gender-Based Violence.
“The launch and self-defense workshop was for influencers, as our goal for the event was to empower them to use their platforms and spread awareness as it would surely reach a silent survivor in need,” she said. “We have received a few testimonies on our positive impact on their lives. More funding will help provide free mental health services and legal counseling to help victims rebuild their lives.”
Fructuoso has also been nominated for CIMB Bank Philippines’ first Pinoy Mavericks Awards, having overcome adversity and defied the odds with her strength, courage and resilience. Winners get P200,000, half of which goes to their chosen beneficiaries.
Awarding is today, July 16, and people can support Fructuoso by engaging with her video entry. All funds generated through Pave help provide counseling for rape survivors.
“We cannot afford to sponsor legal cases at the moment, but we have a pro-bono lawyer/consultant who now resides in California. She takes Zoom calls from our survivors with queries or who need help drafting their statements before filing a case. We also partnered with MindYou Mental Health Systems for monthly group sessions,” she added.
To support and learn more about Pave, visit @phoebefrux and @pavephilippines on Instagram and Tiktok; watch their podcast series on Youtube: linktr.ee/pavephilippines
