How did I become so old?
My youngest granddaughter asked me, “Mamita, what comes after old?”
“Decrepit,” I answered without thinking. The answer is, of course, older—if I’m lucky.
I’m grateful for my years, of course, but where did they all go?
It turns out I’m not the only one wondering how quickly I got here. It doesn’t seem too long ago when I was in college Batch ’61, St. Theresa’s College Manila, which sadly is itself but a shell of its old self. Without its Belgian nuns and proud studentry, my old school has lost its soul.
But St. Theresa’s College lives on in each of us classmates and friends since 1957. We had long outlived our own school on San Marcelino Street, established in 1915. It closed in 1980, and the property sold to the Vincentian Fathers of Adamson University.
As first in class to get married, five days after my graduation, I deposited my wedding bouquet there.
Today, nine former college classmates, all octogenarians, are having lunch at Farmers Table, in Tagaytay, to celebrate Susie’s 84th. Baby, our regular balikbayan from the US, is treating. We are all thanking Susie for always organizing our reunions and get-togethers as well as arranging carpools—the efficient one. She is assisted by our favorite treasurer, Dada.
There are always people like them in every organization, who naturally assume uncontested leadership positions and can ensure a happy event, even for an otherwise laid-back group.
Going out of town is always exciting for us, but not easy to make happen—just to find a date when most can make it is high hurdle. Then there’s carpooling. All this takes a lot of organizational skills and patience. To have gathered nine of us so quickly has been a feat in itself—again thanks to Susie.
New complication
At our age, one would expect life to have become simplified. Indeed, it has, but a new complication is health, and because of that our priorities have changed.
For maybe half of us, there’s the are very real reversal of roles with daughters doing the mothering for us, which may or may not include a financial takeover. To our credit, this has not yet happened to any of us nine. We didn’t need permission from anyone. Marichi had more than permission; her daughter lent her van so many of us could ride with her.
Today, looking at one another in the light of day, there’s no denying we are in our 80s. But talking about the old days, we easily forget such things, as obvious as they are.
The wonder of us isn’t so much in how long we’ve been around, but how well, relatively, despite it. I say relatively because, I have two stents planted in me and am on regular blood thinners, statin and metformin. I also take meds for GERD.
Another of us has had a stroke, another is showing signs of dementia, which seems progressing with every get-together, and another a very unique digestive problem and is on a strict no gluten diet.
One has an optional cane. One has had a hip replacement, another a knee surgery, though merely corrective, minor. Three have caregivers. We’re all on maintenance medication for something or other.
In the bigger more complete group of Green Froggies (our name in our chat thread), we have a cancer survivor, and one who has recovered from an experimental spine surgery and whose quality of life is so much the better for it.
Imperfections
Well, I never said we were perfect. We just are able to live with our imperfections rather well, and there’s every reason to believe we’ve been generally blessed.
Life and old age have been kinder to our generation. We’re all successful in our own ways. No one is destitute or miserable. We’re pretty comfortable, some more than others, of course. We stay active and engaged with life. For many it’s church work. For those still in business, like Annabelle, it’s still a slow process of letting go and turning it over to the next generation.
Anyway, we’re all basically content.
Perhaps we have to give credit to those nuns who shaped our minds and values. In my case, the American nuns of Maryknoll, the Belgians of St. Theresa’s and the Teresianas of Padre Poveda in Madrid. They all helped me develop a healthy attitude toward life, which made me never lose focus on what’s more important.
My friends and I have all become quite religious and prayerful. We love and cherish one another and are there for each other in good and hard times. Not a few of us have suffered the loss of someone we love—all widows now except for Susan and me.
We have lost some classmates too, among them my own closest buddies Bebe and Nena, whom I had known since I was 9; Lina—our parents were friends—and Cita, whose whole family I got to know. My remaining classmates and I couldn’t help become even closer, and have extended our relationships to one another’s daughters, and their daughters.
At the lunch, Baby brought old pictures of us at her daughter’s bridal shower in Susie’s house, in 1992. Gerri was 27 then.
Today, Baby announces Gerri’s daughter, Victoria, is getting married, in December, also at 27. Gerri and Gia, my first and only daughter, became good friends in DC where Gia did her practicum for her Masters in Education from Boston U. Her own daughter Rory will be marrying a fellow doctor of medicine in December. I guess the cycle of life goes on.
And we’re still all here, getting older and loving it.
