How to deal with abusive partners, meddling parents
Through years of matchmaking, love coach Vanessa Antonio aka Coach Vee has gained valuable insights into how different generations approach dating.
According to Coach Vee, a United States-certified matchmaker, and science-based dating coach, members of her Singles Events Manila (SEM) community from different age groups have distinct dating patterns.
She observes that Gen Xers (40s-50s) are gradually becoming more open to modern dating methods. “They’re torn between sticking to tradition and trying new approaches because they’ve realized traditional methods don’t always work,” she explained.
For millennials (late 20s-30s), marriage is no longer a top priority. “There’s an emphasis on ‘I’d rather be single, peaceful, happy, and financially stable than be in a relationship that’s stressful and draining.’ Many also believe, ‘If I’m not going to be in a healthy relationship, I’m fine being alone.’”
She also pointed out the rise of the DINK (dual income, no kids) lifestyle, where couples—or even individuals—choose financial and personal freedom over settling down.
Gen Z (teens to early 20s) are surprisingly the most aggressive when it comes to dating, yet they remain skeptical of dating apps. “They see apps as businesses first and foremost. They sign up, but they don’t rely on them,” she said. “Instead, they prefer meeting people organically—joining running clubs, attending social events, but they still research potential partners online.”
We then asked Antonio some rapid-fire questions about dating and relationships:
What’s your advice for couples where one partner occasionally displays abusive tendencies (verbal or physical)?
“Work on it together or leave—because even if it’s occasional, it can end up causing much harm.”
How much weight should people give to their parents’ advice on love?
“When people are in love, they can be blinded. Family advice is important—use it as a guide, but don’t let it dictate your love life.”
Does a same-sex relationship need more work than a heterosexual one?
“Love is love, but same-sex couples face added challenges due to societal pressure.”
Should health and genetics influence you in choosing a partner?
“Absolutely, especially now that we have medical tests available. But it shouldn’t be the sole factor—just something to be aware of.”
How do you support a partner struggling with obsessive love disorder?
“It’s a chemical imbalance that can be treated with therapy. But if they’re super in love with you, love, enjoy it—it won’t last forever.”
With dating evolving across generations, one thing remains clear—love will always find a way, no matter the approach.
