Issues with the heart
Ugh, it’s Love Month, also known as Valentine’s Day. By the time you read this, you will have devoured your chocolates and arranged your multi-dozen roses in a vase by now. You probably woke up late today, too, thanks to an indulgent eight-course candlelit dinner last night with your honey.
Social media would have made sure everyone knew about it: the flowers, the wine, the handwritten note, the carefully filtered photo of two glasses clinking under dim lighting. And if I sound bitter, it’s probably because I am.
I used to be on the receiving end of those grand gestures. For years, Valentine’s Day meant flowers, gifts, and trips that felt more indulgent than necessary. It was predictable but expected, and at some point, almost transactional. These days, if I’m being completely honest, the only thing I get on Valentine’s Day is, well, nothing.
And I am perfectly fine with that.
Romance in this day and age
I have had my fill of luxurious gifts and romantic escapes from past boyfriends. I remember receiving flowers and thinking they were beautiful, but such a waste of money. In a few days, they would be dead. To some people, that is what luxury looks like. To me, luxury has always meant time, quiet, and the absence of obligation. I would rather be whisked away to an island or a quiet log cabin for some real rest and relaxation—no itinerary, no reservations, no performance required.
I am also not the type who packs sexy lingerie with high hopes of hanky panky. That phase of my life has come and gone. Five minutes of snuggling is more than enough. After that, I want to roll over to my side of the bed or, better yet, my own bedroom. Separate rooms are ideal. Lights off, door locked, and let us all get some decent sleep.
Romance, at this age, looks very different, and I have no interest in pretending otherwise.
If you have been following my articles, you already know this. I am 53, single, and genuinely happy about it. So if my opening sounds a little cynical, it is only because Valentine’s Day, at this stage of my life, feels corny. Overdone. Forced.
That said, if I did have a guy and he handed me a three-carat heart-shaped diamond, I would not lie. That might dramatically improve my outlook. Self-awareness is important.
Which brings me to hearts
I have never liked the heart shape. I would never buy heart-shaped gemstones, let alone design with them. It has always been the last cut I would consider because I find it cheesy. Hearts on throw pillows, shirts, greeting cards, or décor are an automatic no for me. They feel loud, obvious, and desperate to make a point.
And if there is one thing I dislike, it is jewelry or design that tries too hard to explain itself. Yet here we are.
Perhaps my softening toward the shape has nothing to do with romance and everything to do with history, pop culture, and a bit of collective imagination. One of the most famous gemstones in the world is often thought of as heart-shaped and blue, even though it actually is not. The legendary Hope Diamond is technically a cushion cut. No heart shape anywhere in sight.
But because of the movie “Titanic,” where a fictional blue diamond called the Heart of the Ocean was worn as a heart-shaped pendant, the association stuck. Over time, the distinction blurred. In the minds of many, the Hope Diamond became heart-shaped by default. It is a fascinating example of how cinema and storytelling can reshape reality, especially when it comes to jewelry and romance.
The irony is that the real Hope Diamond is anything but romantic. At over 45 carats, it is dark, moody, and intimidating in the best possible way. Its deep blue color comes from trace amounts of boron, a rare element that gives the stone its almost otherworldly glow.
This is not a Valentine’s Day diamond. This is a diamond with baggage, mystery, and a long list of former owners who likely lived very complicated lives.
Knowing that a stone so powerful could be softened, romanticized, and reimagined simply through a film makes me rethink my long-standing bias against the heart shape. When done right and when backed by substance, the heart is not cute or saccharine. It can be commanding. It can be serious. It can have presence.
The heart of the matter
Lately, I find myself slowly investing in a few heart-shaped gemstones. Only a few, and only the good ones. The cut has to be balanced, the proportions right, and the stone itself needs character.
A poorly cut heart is unforgiving. There is nowhere to hide. I do not want anything playful or novelty-driven. I only appreciate this shape in important jewelry pieces, the kind that are meant to last, to be worn with intention, and to quietly say something about the person wearing them.
For those who want to start their heart jewelry collection, I suggest they go for blue sapphires, rubies, diamonds, and green emeralds. These stones have weight, history, and enduring value. They hold their own and do not rely on the shape alone to make a statement. In a cut that is often dismissed as sentimental, substance matters even more.
So no, I am not suddenly a Valentine’s Day convert. I still do not need roses, chocolates, or candlelit dinners to feel complete. I do not need a specific date on the calendar to validate where I am in life. But when it comes to jewelry, and maybe even perspective, I am learning that even the shapes I once dismissed deserve a second look.
Even when it comes to matters of the heart.
