Iza Calzado bares fears, lessons on raising daughter
Actress Iza Calzado said her fear as the mom of toddler Deia Amihan is to end up being a helicopter parent. This is a term for a parent who is overattentive and overly fearful of a child’s experience, particularly outside the home.
“I don’t think I’m overindulgent. I’m also not a disciplinarian. I hope I don’t become a helicopter mom. I think I have a tendency,” Calzado admitted to Inquirer Lifestyle.
“You have to let kids struggle a bit, like with toys. Also, you shouldn’t do everything for them. Let them trip or fall down, as long as they won’t end up having major injuries,” the mom said.
Deia is Iza’s first child with her husband, British businessman Ben Wintle.
“I always tell Deia when she falls: ‘Pick yourself up, go on. That’s just how it’s going to be.’ I’m just telling her this because this is going to be a lesson she will have to know. Sometimes, I ask myself, ‘Isn’t she too young to be hearing this from me?’” she said, laughing.
Being a mom has been the most fulfilling experience, Calzado said.
“It’s been eye-opening and humbling. It’s been challenging and overwhelming, especially when work started coming in. I’ve come to a point when my body is already giving up—that’s why it’s humbling, but it’s also very rewarding,” she explained.
Permissive parenting
We asked her to share her thoughts on a parenting style that is prevalent in Gen X and millennial moms and dads. It is called permissive parenting, wherein very few rules or expectations are set for children, such that they end up becoming “spoiled.”
“Sure, Deia has way more toys than I ever did when I was her age. But it’s not because I feel that I lacked them when I was younger. It’s just because what I can give her now is different from what my parents could give me back then,” she said.
“What I mean is that the only thing that I will intentionally give her is my love. The amount of material things differs—I’m pretty sure my parents wanted to give us the best, and they did to the best of their abilities.”
She wants Deia to have more adventures. She explained: “Since I wasn’t allowed to ride a bike, I will allow her. One day, she will have a dollhouse, but not because I didn’t have a proper one while I was growing up. I want her to experience having one, and not to spoil her too much. Admittedly, it’s hard to draw that line because you will want to give your children the best. You will want to go above and beyond.”
Interestingly, bonding time for Calzado is when Deia latches on to her. “I’ve never really breastfed her, but she still latches up to now—every single day that I’m with her,” she said.
Mommy and Deia also dance, read books, and play together. “We also brush our teeth together. Sometimes, we go out for morning sun. We also say gratitude prayers together. Ben and I do this so Deia will get used to giving thanks in the morning when she wakes up and then at night. I brought her to our rehearsal today, so we can have more time together.”
Calzado was referring to the local staging of “Tiny Beautiful Things: A Play About Life—In Letters,” which will run from Nov. 16 to Dec. 8 at the Power Mac Center Spotlight Black Box Theater in Circuit Makati.
It is produced by The Sandbox Collective under the direction of Jenny Jamora. It also features Rody Vera, Ketchup Eusebio, Gabby Padilla, Regina de Vera and Brian Sy.
“We all agreed to do this because it’s an important piece. It’s something that we needed to do in order to send a message to people that they should reach out, get help, work on their own trauma or challenges,” Iza said.
Straddling the line between fiction and nonfiction, “Tiny Beautiful Things” draws its plot from author Cheryl Strayed’s stint as an anonymous advice columnist. As the character Sugar, Calzado is joined by cast members who will portray a revolving door of letter writers, all seeking advice from Sugar. Although the characters maintain anonymity by using code names in their letters, their stories reflect the wide human experience—with all the highs and lows—that will surely strike a familiar chord with the audience.
‘Powerful’ material
Calzado said she agreed to do the play because of its “powerful” material. She also confessed to having struggled so much emotionally in the past. “Sometimes, we’re not even brave enough to admit this, even to ourselves. Reading this material proved to be a healing experience,” she said.
Calzado said she enjoyed every rehearsal day, and pointed out the importance of every actor doing theater.
“It’s so inspiring, and you learn so much from each other. Look at the cast, walang tapon! The process is so different compared to working on television and film. With this, you have the text, time, and room to play. It’s so much fun,” she said.
The Friday shows of “Tiny Beautiful Things” begin at 8 p.m, while Saturday and Sunday shows are at 2:30 p.m. and 7:30 p.m. Tickets are available at Ticket2Me (bit.ly/tinybeautifulmnl).
