Kathryn Bernardo on living alone, thriving alone
At 29, Kathryn Bernardo made one of the biggest moves of her life—literally. The actress decided to leave her family home and live on her own, a decision she described as both exciting and terrifying.
“I think it’s so brave that, every day, I show up and choose to grow and accept all the uncertainties,” Bernardo told Lifestyle in a recent interview. “I don’t know what will happen. I don’t know if I can do it alone. But I’m here for it. I’m very open. Wish me luck in the coming months.
“Part of me growing up is getting my own place. It’s like my transition stage. I feel that the next coming years are very important because they will dictate where I will go in the future.”
Bernardo’s decision to move out came at a time when she was experiencing what she described as “birthday blues” and a bit of a quarter-life crisis. “I just turned 29, and I feel so lost. I didn’t expect that I’d feel this, but I guess it’s part of adulting and growing up,” said Bernardo, who also recently decided to step out of her comfort zone as an actress by agreeing to be one of four judges in the reality talent search “Pilipinas Got Talent.” (PGT also features actors Eugene Domingo and Donny Pangilinan, and former ABS-CBN president Freddie M. Garcia as judges.)
Emotional resilience
Dr. Mary May Malabanan, a registered psychologist and psychometrician, weighed in on the benefits of solo living, explaining that, when approached with preparation, it can significantly contribute to emotional resilience and self-awareness.
“Being alone may encourage individuals to tap into their inner potential and hone their skills through personal challenges,” Malabanan said. “In this way, they will become aware of their innate abilities and train themselves to bounce back from hardships, regaining happiness. This is the essence of good emotional resilience.”
However, she also acknowledged the cultural challenge of moving out in a country that values close family ties.
“When a family practices this tradition, a person’s decision to move out and live alone can be difficult for both the family left behind and the individual moving. However, through proper communication, the positive effects of this decision can be explained, helping the family understand the benefits of living independently.”
Adjustment
In the Philippines, moving out before marriage is often viewed as unconventional or even ungrateful. Bernardo herself acknowledged that this transition isn’t just hers to navigate, but also her family’s. “I feel like getting my own place is a big adjustment for me and my family, especially my mom.”
Malabanan advised that the key to managing family concerns is clear and honest communication.
“The most effective way to address concerns is to articulate your objectives and goals. Be genuine and honest, emphasizing that you’ve thoroughly considered your decision, particularly regarding your safety. Additionally, outline your plans for regular visits, as this transition will also be an adjustment for your family,” she said.
She also reassured parents struggling with letting go: “We understand that parental love can be profound, leading some parents to want to maintain control even when their children have reached legal adulthood. Their feelings are valid, and it may take time for them to adjust. However, our minds and bodies possess a natural ability to eventually accept change. To facilitate this adjustment, engaging in self-care practices is beneficial. Sharing their feelings with other parents who have experienced similar situations can be helpful. Open communication with their children about these feelings can also foster mutual understanding and support, allowing both parties to navigate this transition together.”
Practice self-care
Adjusting to solo living isn’t always smooth sailing. According to Malabanan, individuals who move out for the first time may face emotional struggles like low self-esteem, negative self-talk, or feelings of loneliness.
“Practicing self-care is essential,” she advised. “This includes connecting with trusted individuals to share experiences, maintaining a balanced diet, engaging in physical exercise, and prioritizing good sleep. All of these play a role in mental well-being.”
Malabanan also emphasized the power of positive affirmations. “Statements like ‘I can do this,’ ‘I’m doing my best,’ and ‘I am capable’ can be beneficial. It’s important to acknowledge and accept negative emotions instead of ignoring them.”
Bernardo is allowing herself to feel every emotion that comes with this transition. She admitted, “It’s hitting me hard. I’m so scared. I’m so lost. But I’m allowing myself to be vulnerable.”
As she embarks on this journey, Bernardo said she is open to all the challenges and lessons that come with it—it’s actually her way of getting to know herself more. “I just want to feel everything right now,” she said.
