Let’s hear it for these proud moms of young adults
The bond between a mother and her child is considered one of the strongest. It’s forged in the womb and evolves as the child grows and matures.
But what happens when the child becomes a young adult with his or her own interests, and begins to explore the world on their own? We asked three mothers how they cope, what they feel as their offspring matures, and what they ultimately want them to know.
As executive corporate chef for a chain of buffet restaurants, Iloilo-based Pauline Gorriceta Banusing has her hands full coming up with over a hundred menus daily. She is also in the middle of finalizing her e-book to be published on her personal website. Her two adult kids have their own thing going. Only 25, Justin put up his own company in Los Angeles in the United States, while his younger sister recently started a small business designing jewelry.
“I may be strict in my line of work, but with my kids, I’d like to think I am a ‘cool’ mom,” Banusing told Lifestyle. “My husband thinks I spoil them, not with material things but by allowing them to get away in many instances. I tell him I just want them to develop their own personality, and be comfortable with what they really want to be.”
She and her son used to have a cooking show that aired in Iloilo, where they bonded. “Justin has long been goal-oriented and always said yes when I suggested we join this or that contest. Nadine and I would go to the salon. She also loves styling me, so we would go to the mall where she would choose clothes and accessories for me to wear. My children and I also enjoy taking care of our dog, Smores.”
Now that her kids are grown-up, Banusing is proud of them. “Both my children are loving, especially Nadine. Until now, she leaves me handwritten notes. When menopause hit, I got so depressed because I felt no sense of purpose, since my children were all away from home. But I came to my senses and realized that they are living their lives and writing their own stories.
“There are times when I feel sad returning to an empty home, but I am confident that I raised them to be kind people. I always knew that they would grow up to be independent people because of their upbringing. I know they have their own lives, and every day, I just say ‘hi’ or ‘hello’ on Messenger. I do not expect a reply, but I just want to let them know that I am still here as their mom, and now as a friend.”
Challenge
For actress and veteran fashion model Marina Benipayo, who’s currently taping a new teleseries for GMA, raising her two sons as a single mom was a challenge she was able to rise to. Distance has lent enchantment to the view, and now she says that looking back, she’d like to think her relationship with sons Mark and Josh was really good. An always open line of communication was a great factor and certainly helped in their rearing, given the challenges they faced.
“As a single mom, all that I did was geared toward our survival, making sure their needs were provided for,” Benipayo told Lifestyle. “I was honest with them. I gave them love, guidance, and the chance to tell me what they thought about life. I also guided them in discerning right from wrong.”
When the boys were younger, they often bonded at home. “Our shared activities were very simple. I couldn’t afford for us to go out to the mall and watch movies, so we usually just stayed home. We enjoyed watching TV together—cartoons, those WWE wrestling matches, and every ‘American Idol’ episode when Adam Lambert was a contestant. We really wanted him to win!”
Now that her kids are forging their own paths—Mark as a virtual assistant and Josh as a runway coach—she says she is happy and proud of the men they are now. “I’ve always wished for them to grow up responsible, practical, and kind, and that’s what they have become.”
Binibining Pilipinas International 1991 and veteran model Patty Betita is now a marketing associate for a trading firm, an image enhancement speaker, and a project coordinator for events. She is also the mother of Emilio, who she considers her teammate.
“We had a pretty normal mom-and-son relationship when he was younger,” Betita said, recalling the time she dropped him off at school when he was in first grade. “He began to cry when he saw me leaving the classroom, so I had to reassure him that I would be coming back soon. I didn’t hire a yaya then. I was very hands-on with him.”
They bonded over movies, shared meals, and out-of-town trips and staycations, especially when the venue had a swimming pool. “That’s a favorite activity for us. We also hang out at home. Basta I cook his favorite spaghetti carbonara, happy na sya. Perhaps one of my most favorite and recent bonding moments with him was when he wanted to see Coldplay with me. I was so thrilled ako ang ka-date nya (he chose me to be his date).”
Bouquet
Emilio is older now, but still affectionate, always remembering to give her a bouquet of flowers on Mother’s Day.
“Still, I must admit that I sometimes feel sad because his world no longer revolves around me. He’s working now and has his own barkada; they plan dinners out, late nights, and even foreign trips. I have to request that he block off certain dates in advance when there are family outings planned or special occasions for which he has to make time.”
They still have date nights or lunches out sometimes, but now Betita has to tell him in advance. “I miss those times when I was his priority,” she says with a laugh, “but I’m proud of him and of the young man he has become. He’s very responsible and matipid (thrifty), which is good!”
Betita is not shy to tell her son she loves him even if he makes faces and cringes at her occasional displays of motherly affection. “I still kiss and hug him a lot, but not in public. He makes all these faces, kunwari cringe pero gusto naman nya.”
What do these moms want their kids to know as they navigate the world on their own?
Banusing wants Justin and Nadine to know how proud she is of them. “They are the main reason I wake up every day. I also want to tell them that I love them, and that I hope that this love will carry them through as they carve a name for themselves.”
Benipayo has always told Mark and Josh, “Life is beautiful, but it always comes with challenges. These challenges never stop, but they always make you stronger in mind and in spirit, as long as you face them and not evade them. Most importantly, I want them to know I will always be there for them.”
Betita wants Emilio to always pray and be grateful for everything. “If he makes a mistake, that’s okay, as long as he learns from it and tries not to commit the same mistake twice. Even now that he’s already an adult, I’ll always be here to love him, be there for him, and support him no matter what. Ganyan ang Mommy!”
