MAGA-lomania
Is everything okay in MAGAland? In the past week or so, it seemed as if someone had stolen the keys to the zoo and let all the animals out—from giraffes and deer to vipers and tigers, to ducks and even seals. There’s a whole menagerie out there, and they’re hijacking our newsfeeds, congressional hearings, and social media algorithms.
Whether intended or not, it’s quite difficult to avoid rubbernecking at what appears to be a massive aesthetic trainwreck—a pile-up of cosmetic surgery procedures gone catastrophically awry.
Ladies and gentlemen, the Botox isn’t botoxing, and the fillers are disintegrating into the necrotic tissues of what once resembled human beings.
Botched up in more ways than one
Is this the new standard of beauty in the MAGA universe? Whatever happened to the perfectly polished Stepford-wife blonde ideal so prized not so long ago?
Judging by the looks of the women fronting the Trump administration of late, blondes do not seem to be having more fun; they seem to be in intolerable pain. Not just metaphysically, mind you, even if the weight on one’s conscience of cheering on a cruel and corrupt regime does take its toll on one’s looks, but in actuality.
For it must be so uncomfortable to have one’s eyes suddenly and perplexingly stretched apart—and unevenly at that—just as it must be distressing to see and feel one’s lips so inflated to platypus-like proportions. How one even gets an intelligible word out of their mouth should be a protean challenge worthy of the Olympics.
The “Mar-a-Lago face”
Lest I be accused of looks-shaming, let me be clear: It’s every woman’s prerogative to do what she wants to her face and body, whichever way she chooses.
But when suddenly and inexplicably, a certain category of women seems to opt to look a certain way with fairly obvious surgical distortions, it becomes a phenomenon—a case study, in other words—and not an assessment of physical assets according to beauty pageant criteria.
Why are they doing this, and who are they doing it for? What are they signalling with these kinds of surgical interventions (not to mention GLP injections)? Is this how they flex their newfound proximity to power, i.e., male-dominated Washington, or simply Trump himself?
Susan Dell, Barbera Thornhill, Kelly Loeffler, Karoline Leavitt, as well as her replacement, the new press secretary Katie Zacharia, are all prominent blondes in the Trump administration who join a bevy of altered brunettes—cheerleaders for their dear leader—such as Lauren Sanchez Bezos, Laura Loomis, and Kimberly Guilfoyle.
Together they epitomize the aesthetic that has come to be known as the “Mar-a-Lago face,” described by a New York City dermatologist, Dr. Samer Jaber, speaking to USA Today, as “full lips, high, prominent cheekbones, bright white teeth, a strong jawline and minimal facial movement with well-defined eyebrows.”
A “fondness” for cosmetic procedures
It’s almost comical the way women like Dell and Loomis have transformed themselves into Jetsons-age androids or cartoon villains—considering that they were rather conventionally attractive before they discovered a, shall we say, “fondness” for cosmetic procedures.
Even Mrs. Jeff Bezos could be said to be objectively pretty until she felt the urge to morph into Jessica Rabbit, an animated duck-temptress come to life.
Of course, these women shouldn’t be turned into objects of derision. But it really is hard not to scratch one’s head and wonder how, in the botched blepharoplasty, can one keep a… er, straight face when looking at these women?
I’ll stick to my vaguely Oriental eyes and unenhanced lips, thank you very much.
******
Get real-time news updates: inqnews.net/inqviber
