Married after 26 years together

At the start of his relationship with style maven Eva Abesamis, hacendero Cesar “Citoy” Aberasturi Lopez Jr. had sparsely furnished his Makati house with two leather chairs, an electric fan, a coffee table, a marble-topped antique dining table and a bed. His only indulgence was the audio equipment in the den. Over time, Eva tastefully decked out the place with contemporary paintings, Oriental art, antiques, flowers, transitional furniture and ornate chandeliers. She landscaped the garden with ornamentals, tropical foliage and lighting.

“This is Citoy’s house,” maintains Eva who recently attached Lopez to her maiden name. Fiercely independent, she maintains her own condo and shuttles between two residences. The couple made news when they finally got married after 26 years of being together. Eva is youthful at 74 and Citoy is 79.

Baronessa

High-profile Eva was a teen model for Rustan’s and a cover girl. Boomers will remember her Latin moves in such TV shows as “Dance Time with Chito” and “Penthouse Seven” in the ’70s. Whenever she appeared on TV after a New York sojourn, people admired her beautiful clothes and accessories. As an entrepreneur, she introduced Madeleine Mono cosmetics, used by icons such as Jackie Onassis, and launched her namesake RTW Eva in SM and Cinderella.

When she married British French aristocrat Baron Patrick de Koenigswarter in the late ’80s, she ventured into evening gowns under the Baronessa label at Rustan’s. In 1997, she and investors opened the biggest showroom of imported bridal gowns, Here Comes the Bride, in Mandaluyong until they were hit by the Asian crisis in 1998.

By then, she had been separated from Patrick. They remained close friends and shared responsibilities in raising their only child, David de Koenigswarter.

One night, her best friend, society columnist Maurice Arcache, dragged her out of bed, brought her to Le Souffle restaurant and set up a meeting with Citoy.

While Eva, then 48, was the bubbly socialite and fashionista, Citoy kept an intimate circle of friends and relatives, and was laidback in his ways. He and his relatives are shareholders/directors of Lopez Sugar Corp. in Sagay City, Negros Occidental. It is a refinery manufacturing company that processes sugar for multinational clients.

Citoy was instantly enchanted by Eva and relentlessly pursued her since their first meeting. On other hand, Eva preferred foreigners, who were witty conversationalists, and didn’t want any emotional involvement especially with Pinoys. To keep men at bay, she gave him a laundry list of her conditions. Foremost, her son David was her priority. Second, the suitor had to adhere to her terms.

“Ask for the moon, and you will know what the guy is made of by his reaction,” she says. Citoy bravely took up the challenge.

Testing the waters

When Eva accepted his invitation to visit Bacolod, she brought two large Samsonite suitcases for a three-day stay to intimidate him. Citoy said she could pick any room that she desired. Eva then tested him by requesting the presidential suite for she and her bestie, Georgina Diaz.

“I wanted to find out if he was kuripot (stingy),” recalls Eva. “Judge me for being capricious or demanding. Who cares?” She got her wish.

“There is this Pinoy mentality that men should take care of you but you must be submissive. If a woman is outspoken and liberal-minded, men get insecure,” says Eva, who is assertive and enterprising.

Yet, she poured her attention to him, organizing his home in Makati and the company house in Sagay City. Without any fanfare, she has been actively involved in the local charity projects and fundraising for trash and recycling receptacles to be used in the public areas. Likewise, she supports the Museo Sang Bata sa Negros and the school eco-farm projects such as oyster mushroom cultivation for the people’s livelihood.

Throughout the 26 years, Eva kept the men in her life happy. She sold her jewelry and artworks to pay for her son’s advance aviation courses in the States. David has since been licensed by the US Federal Aviation Administration. At 33, he is a commercial pilot for Cathay Pacific and an instructor.

On special occasions, her ex-husband would join the couple and David, until Patrick died in 2017.

Last July, while Eva and Citoy were at a gasoline station, discussing taxes and property, he nervously popped the question of marriage. Eva yet again set conditions, among them no more alcohol in his lifestyle. Citoy also had to get the nod from David who had known the former since he was 8 years old.

“I didn’t fall in love right away. It took time to develop. Citoy is very kind, generous, devoted and responsible. He cherishes my presence,” says Eva in hindsight. “Since we are both mature, our differences can be worked out. It’s a give and take.”

By August, their civil wedding was held at the city hall of Cadiz City, Negros Occidental, Citoy’s birthplace. Eva organized a reception on Oct. 27 with a guest list of Manila’s crème dela crème. She transformed the pavilion at North Forbes Park into a garden glittering with chandeliers.

Domesticated

Citoy comes from a tradition where the men are breadwinners while the wives are domesticated. Eva has managed to balance keeping him company while maintaining her independence.

At 6 a.m., Citoy wakes up and makes her coffee. While he goes to work, she’s busy with household matters and errands. Every lunch, the couple eats out in different restaurants. By 6 p.m., they have cocktails at home—she enjoys wine while he drinks buko juice. They either retire to the bedroom and watch Netflix or he goes to his man cave to listen to music.

Through the years, Eva slowly got rid of Citoy’s dadcore clothes and replaced them with tasteful separates and shoes. Every night, she prepares his wardrobe for the next day.

“This is where maturity comes in. With two different backgrounds and interests, we have to be willing to accept and respect each other,” she says.

Eva is looking to build a home away from the city and spend more time with her grandson, Patrick, now 3 years old, and another son from David and wife Stephanie along the way. —CONTRIBUTED INQ