Survivors rise: Breaking the silence on rape culture
Last year, Promoting Awareness and Victors Empowerment (Pave) Philippines chair Phoebe Fructuoso won CIMB Bank Philippines’ first Pinoy Mavericks Award for her courage and resilience (“How a gang-rape survivor is making a change,” Inquirer Lifestyle, 07/16/24). Fructuoso established a nongovernmental organization, Pave, to abolish rape culture and raise mental health awareness. Pave creates spaces where survivors feel safe and heard through advocacy, education, and outreach.
On March 8, Women’s Day, Pave survivors and advocates filled The Fat Seed Cafe + Roastery at One Ayala for brunch, support, and to reclaim their voices. The gathering wasn’t just about fellowship; they were taking a stand against silence and injustice.
Kat Alano knows what it’s like to speak out and be silenced. At 19, the former model, actress, and VJ was drugged and raped in her apartment. When she first shared her story, the backlash was brutal. Now, she leads Empower, a nonprofit that works to dismantle the stigma of silencing survivors.
Opening the event, Alano reflected on the shift she’s seen: “A decade ago, my first TED talk was met with hate. Today, people are speaking up and supporting me instead of bashing me. Change is slow, but it’s happening. The truth is coming out, and accountability is shifting. We’re rewriting the narrative to make this country safer, not just for us, but for those who come after us.”
Then, a young woman with a guitar stepped onto the stage. At first, she hesitated. But as she played, something shifted; her raw and powerful voice filled the room, breaking the silence that once held her captive.
Reclaiming her voice
After the riveting performance, Fructuoso said that at Pave’s first survivor gathering last year, the singer (once the front woman of a rock band) disclosed that her rapist was a worship leader. The trauma silenced her. But at the event, she met another survivor who had written a song about her experience. The message helped the singer reclaim her voice, and she later posted a cover of Syd Hartha’s “Ayaw,” which she performed at the brunch: “’Pag sinabi kong ‘ayaw’/ Ayaw ko talaga/ ’Di ako nagpapapilit/ Masyadong mahigpit ang kapit n’ya/ Ba’t pinapatawad pa nila?/ Ako pa raw ang may pakana/ Epekto raw ng serbesa/ Ako pa rin ang may …”
She calls finding her voice again her “Pave Reveal.” She also sang Switchfoot’s “Dare You to Move.”
Dana Ramos, a member of Pave, bravely shared her story of being raped at just 13 years old. “People say trauma pushes survivors to either shut down or seek validation in all the wrong places. I chose the latter,” she admitted. “Labeled a slut, I believed my only worth was in being used. But beneath it all was deep brokenness, shame, and a desperate need to be loved.”
Ramos began her healing journey when she encountered Living Waters, an inner-healing and prayer ministry for the relationally and sexually broken. “Today, I can share my story without shame, knowing that my worth and identity are not defined by what happened to me. I am more than a body to be used for someone’s pleasure—I am a redeemed woman, saved and restored by my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ,” she said.
“My heart is to bring hope to others who have suffered as I have; those who have tried to cover their shame through promiscuous relationships, believing that’s all they deserve. But we were created for so much more.”
Beyond mere existence, survivors are meant to heal, reclaim what was stolen, and live fearlessly.
Theme of non-violence
The Fat Seed’s selection of vegan dishes underscored the event’s theme of nonviolence, toward both humans and animals. What we choose to eat may seem unrelated, but these daily decisions intersect with the broader discussion on justice and accountability.
Bryant Dee, co-owner of The Fat Seed, spoke about men’s role in ending rape culture. He admitted that in many all-male group chats he’s in, about half the members engage in conversations or content that degrade women. He openly calls out this behavior, believing that real change starts with men holding each other accountable.
Aside from generously sponsoring the event, Dee’s advocacy underscores how some men perpetuate a culture of violence while presenting themselves as friends. “It’s shocking how often this mindset goes unchecked, even among people we trust,” he said.
Dee exposed an uncomfortable truth: Some so-called allies behave differently behind closed doors.
To support and learn more about PAVE, visit @phoebefrux and @pavephilippines on Instagram and TikTok, or watch their podcast series on YouTube: linktr.ee/pavephilippines.
