The family that grapples together, wins together
At the recent Marianas Pro Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu (BJJ) Competition in Alabang, the Yasol family didn’t just rack up medals, they showed what it means to be a true BJJ family.
Michael, 44, and 11-year-old twins Jari and Gabi, struck gold. Marie, 34, snagged her first. But 8-year-old Aloë’s run hit a wall. After losing in her last two competitions, she bounced back at Marianas with two strong wins, a tie that led to sudden death, and a bronze.
The heartbreak on her face? A gut punch, and a lesson you can’t drill for.
Her dad, Michael, admitted, “It was a bit much. I hoped she’d feel she belonged.”
“She said it wasn’t fair,” Marie added. “She says she’s done, for now.”
Coach Jericho Tomagan kept it real, saying, “Breaks of the game. Bad calls happen in BJJ and life. Winning should be decisive.”
The affable coach is familiar with the terrain. After a 10-year break, Tomagan also won gold that weekend—he knows how to come back swinging.
Coach Kerv Garcia, a fixture on local and international mats and a gold medalist that weekend, kept things grounded: “Our goal is continuous improvement, regardless of the result.”
Even world champs take hits
Garcia reminded everyone that even world champs take hits. “Aielle Aguilar, our chief’s 7-year-old daughter, is already a three-time World Champion. But she still loses in local comps. She lost at Marianas and, I think, the one before that, too. She cries. Then next weekend, she’s back to competing again. We’re not here for medals. We’re here to get better.”
Is Aloë planning to train harder to “never leave it to the judges” again? Michael is letting Aloë sit with her feelings. “We’ll improve her game, but keep it fun,” he said. “If it feels like a chore, we’ve already lost. We train for performance, not medals. Winning’s great, but doing your best? That’s a nonnegotiable.”
Said Tomagan, “Aloë is a natural, I just choose not to tell her. Instead, I want her to grapple with the reality that being good skill-wise is not enough. There is also will, grit, and wild determination. Let’s see how she responds to this heartbreak. Okay, I whisper how great she is sometimes. Still, she has to find it herself. My job is to fuel the fire. To spark it? That’s on them.”
“BJJ is our connection,” Michael said. “No generational gap. We just roll, learn, and grow. My wife and I exchange BJJ vids, and we love discussing how rolls or drills went with the kids. I love that we are a physical family and can be a little rough, too. We don’t hang out at malls. We hang at the mats.”
What it means to win
After her quietly fierce debut, Marie said it was surreal sharing the mat with her kids. Gabi was feverish the night before, but with mom’s care, he pushed through. Jari was 5 kilograms lighter than his opponent, but because of controlled rolls with heavier partners at the gym, he managed. “The grind is family-wide,” Michael explained. “We wouldn’t have it any other way.”
In a sport where gold is earned through grit, grind, and good positioning, the Yasols are redefining what it means to win. They embody a BJJ family connected not by belts, but by purpose.
With half a dozen BJJ academies mushrooming along a 2-kilometer stretch, Tomagan observed that Aguirre Avenue in BF Homes is becoming a BJJ hub. So why Deftac BF?
Marie and Michael remembered their gym hunt. “One gym turned us away because the kids didn’t have gis for the trial. Told us to rent for P500 a session. Felt snobbish,” Marie said, shrugging.
Michael added, “Thank God we walked over to Deftac instead. BJJ’s a nonnegotiable for us. It’s a financial commitment, but what’s the alternative? More screen time? How much is your kid’s health, confidence, and competence worth? What’s the value of strong mentors and real social interaction? We’re all in now. We don’t spend on much else. Training, recovery, supplements, laundry … it’s not a sacrifice when it’s the best part of our shared life.”
Forty-something nurse Maika Laygo trains with her three kids, all medalists at Marianas. “I support them because they love it, not because ‘mommy said so.’”
Jean Lim, mom of young gold medalist Aly, said, “It’s an added expense, but self-defense is a life skill, and Deftac’s reputation matters. The coaches were approachable from day one, and they motivated the kids. Aly wouldn’t have lasted if she hadn’t enjoyed it. The gym feels like home. She likes everyone there.”
“For us, it’s not home,” Michael countered. “It’s a forge. You pay with focus and effort. You come out sharper.”
How do the coaches handle kids and families for setbacks like Aloë’s? Tomagan said, “Preparation comes from the everyday gym sessions. We don’t focus too much on skills development. Mindsetting and character building should be part of any martial arts gym or competitive sports team. Also, setbacks launch you for victory as you learn more during that time, rather than in winning. “Like they say, ‘In losing, you feed the mind; in winning, you feed the ego.’”
Garcia added, “At Deftac BF, we coaches share the same attitude regarding competition. It should be a fun and learning experience, rather than something stressful to always win. So even if they lose, there’s no pressure from the coaches.”
The Yasols remind us that the real wins happen off the podium. At Deftac BF, families aren’t chasing medals but mastery. They are learning to win with grace, lose with perspective, and roll with life’s hardest moments.
