The mother-in-law as a movie trope
The tense mother-in-law dynamic is a tale as old as time. And if you’ve been keeping up with the Beckhams lately, you’ve probably seen this particular dynamic blow up headlines. According to Brooklyn’s recent tell-all (or should we say “tell-on-mom”?), Victoria allegedly “hijacked” the first dance at his 2022 wedding to Nicola Peltz. And while some might sympathize, a large part of the internet says they’d be thrilled if a Spice Girl wanted to hit the “Wannabe” choreography at their wedding.
Still, Brooklyn has repeatedly called out his mom for making his wife (in essence, her daughter-in-law, Nicola) feel left out of the family—a situation many can relate to.
And while some of us are lucky enough to have wonderful relationships with our own mothers-in-law (like my own!), who have welcomed us with open arms, it’s nonetheless a trope that Hollywood has taken up for decades.
After all, the word “mother-in-law” is an anagram for “woman Hitler.”
So, whether it’s a feud over a wedding dress or an “inappropriate” dance-off, here are some of the most iconic on-screen mothers-in-law, ranging from terrifying “Is she actually trying to poison me?” vibes to truly wise and heartwarming characters. The common thread is that they almost always end with redeeming factors, uniting for their shared love of their daughter or son.
- “Crazy Rich Asians” (2018): The traditionalist
Michelle Yeoh plays Eleanor Young, wife to an heir of one of Singapore’s richest old-money scions. And while she is “mean” in the traditional sense, her elegant and icy character is ultimately striving to protect what she perceives as a traditional family legacy.
When Chinese American economics professor Rachel Chu enters the scene, Eleanor doesn’t just see a girlfriend but a threat to the family’s structural integrity. In that famous mahjong scene, she uses the game to tell Rachel that she simply isn’t enough, although she eventually loses at her own game.
- “Monster-in-Law” (2005): The saboteur
If you think Victoria Beckham is a “monster,” you haven’t seen Viola Fields (impeccably played by Jane Fonda). Feeling maudlin after losing her job as a news anchor, Viola decides that her new career is ruining Charlie’s (Jennifer Lopez) life, after Kevin (Michael Vartan) pops the question.
Recall multiple scenes faking a nervous breakdown to move in with the couple, the “accidental” allergy-inducing gravy, and white-on-white outfit sabotage, all gold standards for cinema featuring “smothers-in-law.”
- “The Family Stone” (2005): The gatekeeper
Sybil (Diane Keaton) is the matriarch of a tight-knit, bohemian family that prides itself on being “open-minded.” This is until an “outsider” like city slicker Meredith (Sarah Jessica Parker) shows up.
Sybil is judgmental and fiercely protective, making it clear that she doesn’t think Meredith is the right fit for her son. Exclusive and judgmental, it’s a more realistic, painful look at how families can freeze you out, though still with some lightness.
- “Ready or Not” (2019): The murderous mother-in-law
This horror-comedy film gave me heebie-jeebies that make me think Nicola should be counting her lucky stars.
If Nicola thinks a hijacked wedding dance is bad, she should meet Grace (Samara Weaving), the unassuming bride who marries into a wealthy board-game dynasty, only to find out their wedding night tradition involves a lethal, actually satanic game of hide-and-seek.
On the tier of extreme in-laws, matriarch Becky (Andie MacDowell) seems supportive at first, but eventually swaps the celebratory Champagne for a bow and arrow.
- “Easy Virtue” (2008): Posh parallels
A film set in England in the 1920s, we can imagine parallels of this story with the Peltz-Beckham’s uneasy situation, spoken with British accents.
Veronica Whittaker (Kristin Scott Thomas) plays a fabulously judgmental mother who upholds British “propriety.” Jessica Biel plays Larita, who marries a young British aristocrat and moves into his family’s estate.
Veronica despises her American daughter-in-law for her fashion and “vulgar” sense of independence, with in-law warfare at its most polite.
- “Hush” (1998): The absolute nightmare
Another horrific watch. All seems well when Jackson (Johnathon Schaech) brings home his new wife (Gwyneth Paltrow) to live on a farm with his mother, Martha Baring (Jessica Lange). But then it all goes downhill.
From psychological sabotage, Lange plays that kind of mother-in-law who wants to be the sole woman in her son’s life. From here, we see bone-chilling manipulation, lies, and even endangering the baby just to stay the queen of the household.
- “Stepmom” (1998): The learning curve
I recall having this tear-jerker among our DVDs as a child. Jackie (Susan Sarandon) and Isabel (Julia Roberts) play the roles of biological mother and stepmother.
While it hits all the same beats as a mother-in-law dynamic, it focuses on power struggles over children, concerning ways to run a family. But it eventually evolves from cold shoulders and resentment to two women realizing they both love the same people and choosing to work together.
- “The Proposal” (2009): The warm matriarchs
While Andrew (Ryan Reynolds) is terrified of his high-strung boss Margaret (Sandra Bullock), whom he marries to keep her US citizenship, they eventually fall in love. And his mother and grandmother are the first to see Margaret’s humanity beneath her power suit.
With warm and welcoming energy, Grace doesn’t seem to care that Margaret is a difficult character, immediately treating her like a daughter, from a girls’ night out to bringing her breakfast in bed.
Andrew’s grandma Annie (the indomitable Betty White) offers the ultimate breakthrough, giving Margaret a family heirloom, and then famously faking a heart attack to force Andrew to go after the woman he loves.
- “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” (2002): The real matriarch
In a family dominated by loud, stubborn men, Maria Portokalos (Lainie Kazan) is the actual matriarch who makes decisions.
When her daughter Toula (Nia Vardalos) brings home Ian (John Corbett), a non-Greek vegetarian and English teacher, the family is horrified. Maria’s response after a beat of confusion, when told Ian does not eat meat, is “It’s okay, I make lamb.”
Through humor and warmth, this mother-in-law makes it her mission for Ian to feel like a Portokalos.
- “Shrek 2” (2004): Ogre-in-laws
Fiona’s (voiced by Cameron Diaz) mother, Queen Lillian (Julie Andrews), didn’t exactly start the second installment of “Shrek” with open arms. In the beginning, she was just as horrified by the court of Far Far Away Land when they realized the new prince was a swamp creature.
She even connives when her husband, King Harold, hires Puss-in-Boots as a hitman. However, she snaps out of it, pivoting from judging Shrek’s green skin and terrible table manners to becoming the grounded matriarch who reminds everyone that Fiona’s happiness is the only thing that matters.
