The one born for Nikki Valdez
Nikki Valdez grew up a hopeless romantic, thinking that just like in the song “Born for You,” there exists a person in this “random world” who’s “written in the stars.” And that somehow, someday, the “powers of the universe will conspire” to make them one.
So when her first marriage ended in divorce, the actress was left devastated and couldn’t help feeling like an “failure.” “It was such a big blow to me,” she told Lifestyle.
On Valentine’s Day in 2007, Valdez married Filipino-Canadian Christopher Lina in Toronto, and bid show biz adieu to begin a new life overseas. Together, they have a daughter, Olivia. But it didn’t take long before cracks in the relationship started to show—one of the reasons, reportedly, being the husband’s infidelity.
By 2009, they were estranged. Two years later, their divorce was finalized. And in her return to the Philippines, she carried with her a gnawing sense of guilt. You see, Valdez said, she comes from a family where the idea of broken marriage is virtually inconceivable. That she was the first to suffer such a fate bothered her to say the least.
“My father died in 2015 with my mom loving him until his last breath. Even the previous generations of couples kept their marriages intact,” she said. “I’m the second of four siblings, but I was the first one to get married. So I felt guilty that I was the one who brought that kind heartache into our family.”
As much as she wanted to make the marriage work, things simply didn’t turn out the way she had hoped for. There are some who choose to endure the pain for the sake of their kids. But for Valdez, staying in a marriage that has already run its course would only be a disservice to her daughter.
“I didn’t think it was right for me to stay just because of our child. I was unhappy. How can I love my daughter wholly when I’m not whole?” said Valdez, who had all but given up her acting career and aspirations for personal growth during that time.
It felt right
For a while, she contended with the prospect that she will never love again, much less remarry. “I was a point in my life when I was like, ‘Ayoko na, kami na lang ng anak ko,’” she said. But love has a funny way of creeping up on you, she said, especially when you least expect it. Who knows? Maybe the universe was just starting to conspire.
Around 2014, Valdez met Luis Garcia, an ABS-CBN sales executive, at a party. They immediately hit it off. Their conversations continued long after the party had ended by way of constant exchange of messages. First, they started out as good friends. Eventually, the relationship already blossomed into something deeper.
On their first date, the couple went to the cinema and watched “Interstellar”—“of all movies!” she recalled, laughing. They mostly indulged in simple pleasures, like going out to dinners, or having quiet nights in, cooking meals together. After all, it’s not so much what you do as who you do it with.
It felt good, it felt right. But once in a while, the trauma of her past ordeal would rear its ugly head and cast doubt on her. And left to her own devices, she would have probably not taken the relationship any further. “I thought I didn’t want to get married again,” she said.
But in moments of uncertainty, it was her daughter—much to her surprise—who gave her the reassurance she didn’t think she needed.
“It was Olivia who actually told me that she wanted Luis to be her father. ‘I want him for you,’ she told me. I was really surprised. What did she see in him? She was like what, 5 or 6 years old at the time? So somehow, you know that where she was coming from was pure and innocent,” she said.
Deal-breaker?
It is said that a woman stands to lose more after a failed marriage, especially if she’s a mother. Many find the idea of having instant kids a deal-breaker. Sure, she might find a man who will end up loving her. But will he love her child? That’s the bigger question, Valdez said.
It was a question she didn’t even need to ask. “Luis accepted me and Olivia without any second-guessing. He just embraced the responsibility of being a father to my daughter. He didn’t have to put in extra effort to do that because he’s just naturally kind. That’s just the kind of person he is,” she said.
“And I think Olivia herself felt that. That’s why she wanted me to get married again. Because she could see I was happy with him,” Valdez added. “Sa kanya na mismo nanggaling. Paano mo matitiis ’yun? So that was a turning point for me.”
After two years of dating, Garcia popped the question in 2017. Valdez, now with her child’s blessing, said yes. The following year, they exchanged vows in an intimate ceremony in Hong Kong attended only by family and some close friends.
Despite everything that had happened, Valdez came to realize that a second marriage could be still so magical. Perhaps the second time really is the charm, she said. Perhaps with this “second chance,” she could finally work things out.
“I didn’t expect to be given another chance at love and marriage. I never imagined that there was still someone like Luis out there for me. Meron pa palang nakalaan para sa ‘kin. I feel lucky, blessed,” she said of Garcia, who, by coincidence, had also come from another marriage.
Second marriage
Valdez and Garcia have been married for eight years now, and together for 10 overall. But still, they move like a new couple.
They go out on dates as often as their busy schedules permit. They aren’t shy posting and exchanging sweet nothings online. They love traveling together, and hitting the courts to play tennis. They even share similar advocacies, like actively campaigning for former Vice President Leni Robredo in the last elections.
“I’m so happy that, once again, I’m able to offer and give the kind of love I know. In return, he loves me back with no ifs or buts,” she said.
This Valentine’s Day, all she’s hoping for is a simple dinner. “I feels like everyone’s busier nowadays. But I love getting flowers. It’s not every day you receive them,” said the 2023 Famas best supporting actress, who’s currently juggling two acting projects: the second season of the action-fantasy series “Lolong” on television, and the musical “Next to Normal” in theater.
Of course, no marriage is perfect, and they do encounter their share of challenges. In 2021, Valdez underwent in vitro fertilization in hopes of having a baby with Garcia. It took them two tries to develop an embryo, but it failed to grow after being transferred into her womb. It was a trying time. But she believes that she and her husband are now better equipped to handle such situations.
“I have been through the worst of worst, so I don’t tend to panic or get frantic as easily,” she said. “And despite the challenges that came, and are still yet to come, the happiness I feel in this journey with him is something I can’t explain.”
Asked what piece of advice would she give to those having second thoughts about the prospect of a second marriage, Valdez said: “It’s not going to be easy. At some point you, will just have to surrender yourself. If a person is for you, he will come.”
And thankfully, he did. Maybe that David Pomeranz song was right all long. “Eto na talaga ’yun—the one for me!” she said.
