The table as memory
Christmas Eve is like an airplane gently landing from a shaky descent. After weeks of planning, the mad rush to complete errands, gatherings, and Simbang Gabi, the calendar finally thins, the rush softens, the traffic dissipates, and there is a pause—a moment when everything slows down, and we all take a moment to focus on what truly matters.
It is in these moments, between the doing and the celebrating, that our table becomes the ritual and the heart.
Balancing tradition and indulgence
For our family, the season is a balance of tradition, presence, and, of course, a bit of indulgence. In our home, my husband Marc and our three daughters, a staff member who chose to take care of us during Christmas day (instead of going on leave to spend time with her family), and our bundle of furry joy, Coco, settle into a few traditions that my husband and children have created through the years.
One of the family’s favorites is the “Harry Potter” movie marathon that is projected onto the wall, as bowls of popcorn are passed casually from hand to hand. A charcuterie board sits nearby, to enjoy at everyone’s leisure. For a little interactive fun, we often set up a chocolate fondue station with fresh fruits and marshmallows, letting the girls dip and share.
No assigned seats, no rules, no fuss—just the simple joy of being together. This kind of slowness is intentional. It comes from choosing ease over performance. This very relaxing day, where we choose to stay home and pretty much do nothing, reminds us that meaning is not manufactured through effort alone, but through presence.
Candles are lit as the evening deepens. It slows conversations and softens the room, making everything feel gentler and more relaxed. A bottle of Champagne for me is opened and a bottle of sparkling non-alcoholic chardonnay for the girls—not ceremoniously, but instinctively. Bubbles lift the mood, quietly reminding us that even if it is just our family, small celebrations deserve cheer.
A tapestry of continuity, meaning, and heartfelt celebration
At my mother-in-law’s home, the table and the ritual of gathering take on a slightly different approach, but no less impactful. For 17 years, Christmas Eve for me has meant going to mass and Noche Buena attended by as many as a hundred guests. There, we continue a tradition that blends faith, family, and warm greetings.
Taking a proactive approach during mass, where some of the younger generation are tasked to be readers and others participate in the offertory, teaches them the value of responsibility, presence, and contributing to something larger than themselves. After hearing mass together, the family partakes of the Noche Buena, the long, lively, and intimate meal that marks the high point of Christmas in our country.
Each year, the house fills with the warmth of stories retold, laughter shared, and successes shared. Over the years, this tradition has become a living archive: photographs of our family in front of the family Christmas tree capture not just appearances but a sense of belonging, continuity, and shared history.
It is not only our nearest and dearest family and friends who gather here. The ever loyal staff members of all the families, who have been with us through the years (some who have even already retired), share in the celebration as well. A big raffle and some parlor games are played each year as a small but heartfelt gesture of appreciation for the family we choose. It reminds us also that the staff who support and sustain us all year long matter as much as the family we are born into.
They are the people who witness our journeys, who stand with us through challenges, who celebrate our victories, and alongside us during our losses. The table, in these moments, becomes a memory in real time. It carries the stories of each year: quiet conversations, shared jokes, sighs of relief after a long week, and, most importantly, gratitude that the meal symbolizes.
Memory is built not only in grand gestures but also in the accumulation of small, deliberate acts: organizing the festivities, selecting a theme for the Christmas table, anticipating the dishes each family brings—whether an heirloom recipe or a trusted order—that will appear on the spread. A cheese platter and breads, chicken galantina, Christmas ham, smoked salmon, lengua, callos, assorted kakanins, and lechon are the familiar favorites, appearing year after year on the buffet.
Each of these rituals layers upon the last, creating a tapestry of continuity, meaning, and heartfelt celebration.
Remembering why we gather
The slowing down of Christmas Eve is an active choice, especially in a season so prone to haste. It is in these deliberate pauses that the essence of the holidays is revealed. We allow time to stretch, to breathe, to linger, and to show our love. We notice the smiles around the room, the quiet gestures of generosity, the familiar comfort of doing something repeatedly year after year. We remind ourselves that the celebration is not in the spectacle or perfection but in presence and appreciation.
The Filipino Christmas tradition is naturally rich in ritual: Simbang Gabi, extended family gatherings, feasting, music, games, and lights. Yet within these larger patterns, the smallest gestures carry the most meaning. It is in choosing a favorite movie and making it a marathon. It is on a charcuterie board and chocolate fondue that requires no stress to prepare. It is in the act of sitting down, together, and allowing the evening to unfold without hurry or the quiet bonding that happens while choosing gifts for each other, savoring those moments of thoughtfulness and care. It is in hearing mass together and celebrating the birth of Jesus, the gratitude expressed to those who have accompanied us through the year.
Every year, the table reminds us to count our blessings and to show appreciation for the people who matter most. It inspires creativity in arranging the table and patience as we wait for everyone to arrive (and drop off their assigned dish in the kitchen!) It cultivates attentiveness, as we notice small, tender details like the favorite cake brought by a cousin, the way candlelight gives the table that warm glow. It teaches gratitude, as we reflect on the year that has passed: the challenges that tested us, the celebrations that lifted us, the changes that shaped us, and the constants that sustained us.
And it also teaches that the people we choose to gather around—our family, friends, and loyal staff—are the ones who transform food, light, and tradition into something truly satisfying. On the eve of everything, we remember why we gather—to celebrate the gift of Jesus, to be thankful for the year that has passed, and to hold close the people who make life sweeter, lighter, and more meaningful.
From our home to yours, Merry Christmas! May it be filled with laughter, love, and the little moments that make your heart full.
Rituals for a heartfelt Christmas Eve
Choose one movie tradition: Pick a film everyone loves and make it a yearly ritual. Movies: “Harry Potter,” “The Holiday,” “Home Alone,” and “It’s a Wonderful Life”
Prepare casual elegance: Create an effortless spread. Make your own or pre-order a charcuterie board from a trusted source, like @charcuterieboxmnl, bottled dips from @thegreatfood, or shop at Santis Delicatessen. Lechon: General’s Lechon and Elars
Light candles: Create a cozy tone. Taper candles: Lanai, AC+632
Give the younger generation a role: Invite children or younger family members to participate in meaningful ways. Roles: Reading during mass or facilitating the games and raffle. Games: Musical Cups, White Elephant
Small gestures count: Choosing gifts thoughtfully to noting favorite dishes
Small tokens: Flying Tiger, American Women’s Bazaar
