Women do not exist just to satisfy your fantasies
About a week ago, Quezon City District Representative Bong Suntay openly spoke about fantasizing about actress Anne Curtis during a House hearing that had nothing to do with her, as part of an analogy made to defend Vice President Sara Duterte.
The House hearing centered around the impeachment proceedings against Duterte, who had once admitted to fantasizing about decapitating the current president (and her former running mate), Ferdinand Marcos Jr.
Suntay tried to downplay the severity of Duterte’s statements, insinuating that thinking of or imagining these things without any physical or overt action is not a crime.
The way he defended Duterte, however, disrupted the hearing altogether because of the disgusting analogy he made. This was met with immediate backlash. San Juan representative Bel Zamora immediately requested that the statement be stricken from the record. Suntay seemed taken aback by these demands, saying he said “nothing immoral” and insisted there was nothing wrong with his remarks. He said all this with a laugh, even as the House came to a vote to strike the statements from the record.
The very bravado and easygoing nature of Suntay when saying these things implies something darker: This is normal for him. He has no qualms thinking that his norm of objectifying women and reducing them to mere sexual fantasy is something that everyone does, and isn’t at all an anomaly. It’s fine if he says it out loud, right?
If Suntay feels comfortable saying this publicly, at an official, taxpayer-funded hearing, what is he saying in private? What does he, the majority floor leader of the Quezon City council at the time QC passed the Bawal Bastos Law, truly believe when it comes to women? And what does that say about his environment, those who surround him, and the temperament of the Philippines toward misogyny at large, that he doesn’t hesitate to reveal what he thinks of women?
A society that is reluctant to and even outright refuses to punish misogyny, while coddling men at best and prizes machismo and toxic masculinity at worst, will reflect these ideas and values on its leadership. And so much of the Philippines, while it has made positive strides toward gender equality and equity, still stubbornly holds on to male supremacy that demands the exploitation of women, degrading them to mere objects.
Our society, sadly, is one that continues to believe that we women are subordinate and made solely for the pleasure or servitude of men. If not outright physical pleasure, then we women are created to be consumed as fuel for their fantasies—our agency, intellect, and consent all erased in the pursuit of selfish sexual gratification. Despite this already degrading role we are forced to occupy, we are also expected to satisfy emotional upkeep, household chores, and labor we never signed up for.
I can’t believe it still bears repeating, but we women do not exist just to satisfy your fantasies.
Rape culture continues to endure
Congress has long been and, sadly, continues to be a boys’ club. And that trickles down to day-to-day interactions and how many continue to carry themselves.
It’s plain to see that pervasive, sexist bigotry is still the case with the number of male netizens, fellow public servants, and other men in powerful positions or with platforms and influence who have taken Suntay’s side.
Atty. Ferdinand Topacio also came to Suntay’s side saying, “He’s a man. Let’s not kid ourselves. Men have desires.” He continued to criticize Jasmine Curtis-Smith, sister to Anne Curtis, asking why she herself would post photos in bikinis if not to be desired, further underscoring how rape culture is still pervasive in the Philippines, especially among powerful men. He punctuated this statement by saying that he, too, used to fantasize about Curtis-Smith, as well as Gabriela Women’s Party’s Sarah Elago, almost in an effort to sneer at these outspoken women criticizing him.
If our leaders feel emboldened enough to say these things on nationally recorded public hearings, what will stop the men of our nation who think the same way from refraining from that same type of language and behavior? If we allow our leaders to go unchecked and uncriticized with how they speak about and view women, it is a signal that we are okay with this when we are not. We do not accept it.
And know that the silence and inaction of many men in the face of hearing these things—whether from public servants like Suntay or from their fellow male peers—can also be dangerous. Silence sides with the oppressor. If these men clearly feel superior to women, they will minimize female voices outright and may only listen to other men. If men don’t come to bat for us and speak up against the disgusting things being said and done against us, then who will they listen to?
Don’t let the men around you sign off on this behavior. If they truly love you, they will make your safety a priority. And if that means having to confront their peers on their harmful behavior and beliefs, then it must be done.
In the Philippines, it has almost become a habit for men in power to make lewd comments about women in official hearings, nationwide statements, and widely-covered presentations, among other things. It’s a frightening pattern to bear witness to, even after all the steps we’ve taken to safeguard against gender-based violence that manifests beyond just language.
And though it’s become routine at this point, it’s still just as disappointing and alarming. I don’t think we are angry enough.
Read the full story on lifestyle.inquirer.net.
