‘You can’t march without a bouquet, ano ba!’
We partied a bit (a lot) in New York and Manila in the ’90s, and as soon as I settled back home at the turn of the century, I ate in Cibo at PowerPlant (the old outdoor side) almost every day.
With that trademark beam she said, “I will be really tampo if I find out someone else took care of your wedding,” to which I said, “…well, I’ll feel bad if you don’t let me edit your wedding vows.”
With nary a fiancé nor plans of marriage for either of us, we then said, “Eeeeeh, as if” at the exact time, in the exact tone, and we waved each other off, laughing out loud.
So, for a stretch in the early 2000s, we said hello to each other with our buzz phrase: “Hellooooo, Gang! as if.” “Hello Gaits, as iffff.”
About a decade later, I did end up getting married, and of course, she was the real star of our wedding. She came over and hung out with me and Jay during the ingress. We got married at the Ramon Magsaysay Center and so Gaita, Jay, and I were outside chatting, the March Manila Bay wind wrapping our moment by the pillars like tissue paper boxing in a memory.
It was 4 p.m. then and she remarked how crazy it was that we were still downstairs together when we were going to get married in an hour and a half, so she shooed me inside to get ready.
She saw my dress and said, “Where’s your bouquet?”
I said I had none, mostly because I also had to assist my papa as he walked me down the aisle so I didn’t bother ordering one.
“You can’t march without a bouquet, ano ba!” she said.
In a flash, that trademark cloud of white cotton, jeans, and pearl earrings became a blur as she made phone calls, and said bye in a rush.
Right before I marched, someone sent over two bouquets of white lilies—one wrapped in a white satin grosgrain ribbon, the other in navy and white ribbons—with handwritten instructions: “The blue and white bouquet is for tossing to dalagas. Best wishes, G.”
What a heart. What an achingly giving (with full attention to micro details) heart.
Gang Badoy Capati, founder of Rock Ed Philippines, is now a neuroscience clinical researcher and trauma and mental health therapist of Project: Steady Asia.
