5 lessons from 2024

I want to share five life lessons I learned in the year that just passed.

1. Take charge of your life.

One of the most eye-opening conversations I had was with my former manager at work. I was going through a breakup and lost career-wise. All I knew was I wanted to emigrate and having a career centered around Philippine taxation did not make me feel fulfilled or aligned with my long-term goal of emigration.

My manager seemed to notice this, too. After everything she said that day, the one thing that truly struck a chord was, “Take charge of your life.”

I was so caught up in doing the work to cultivate a romantic relationship that I almost lost sight of the fact that there is more to life than romance. Building a meaningful career, nurturing my personal growth, and planning for my future were equally, if not more, important. It hit me that I had been passively waiting for things to fall into place instead of actively creating the life I wanted.

It became very clear that I had to make a shift somehow and that I was just scared to take the leap, scared to throw away four years of professional experience. But fear wasn’t going to get me anywhere. I realized that no one else was going to save me or hand me the life I envisioned—it was entirely up to me to take charge.

2. Saying no to the things you don’t want gets you closer to the things that you do want.

No is a powerful word. It helped me regain control of my life.

To get to where I am now, I had to say no to many things.

My family and friends were planning trips here and there, and although low-cost airlines make it very easy and tempting to go for it, I knew I no longer wanted to travel around the Philippines or Asia. I had my eyes set on Europe.

Saying no also benefited me financially. By turning down trips and invites I wasn’t passionate about and not succumbing to impulsive spending just because something seemed like a “good deal,” I was able to allocate my resources toward what truly mattered to me. It gave me the freedom to invest in experiences that align with my goals and values.

This also applies to my dating life. I had to learn how to say no and silently walk away from experiences that made me uncomfortable and undervalued. After many nos, I finally found a partner whom I’m almost always on the same page with.

3. Everyone needs therapy.

While having lunch by a lake in Hallstatt with an acquaintance, I casually mentioned that I was going to therapy.

He asked, “You’re in therapy, too?”

“Wait … ‘Too?’” I asked, intrigued.

“Everybody needs therapy,” he shrugged with a knowing smile.

It might be a hard pill to swallow, but acknowledging that we all carry invisible baggage is the first step toward unpacking it. Therapy isn’t just for those in crisis—it’s a tool for understanding ourselves better, unlearning patterns that no longer serve us, cultivating deeper connections with the people and the world around us, and becoming a better person.

4. A romantic relationship won’t make you happy. Happiness comes from you.

Many people in this generation put romantic relationships on a pedestal, thinking it’s the one thing that’ll make them happy. I used to be this way, too.

We often believe that happiness is something external—something we can achieve through someone else’s love, a job title, a specific amount of money, or a milestone we’ve yet to reach. I thought that if I found the “right” person, or if I traveled enough, everything would magically fall into place.

Here’s the kicker: no place or relationship will make you happy if you’re not content within yourself. The idea of a “geographic cure”—thinking that a change in location will solve your problems—doesn’t hold water. It doesn’t matter how sunny the weather is, how beautiful the scenery is, or how exciting a new environment might seem. If you’re unhappy within, you’ll carry that unhappiness wherever you go.

Happiness is a choice, and it starts with you. Until you cultivate that internal sense of peace and contentment, nothing external will ever feel truly fulfilling.

5. If you want to make the wrong decision, ask everyone.

Through the years, I missed so many opportunities for growth just because I listened to others.

Always remember that everybody is on their unique journey, and we’re all living life for the first time.

When you ask somebody for advice, they’re answering you based on their experience. Some will even try to impose their beliefs onto you. What worked for them may not necessarily work for you, and what scares them may not scare you.

This is why discernment and trusting yourself are so important. Advice can be helpful, but it should never override your intuition. You know yourself best. The more you learn to tune into your desires and values, the easier it becomes to filter out the noise and make decisions that truly align with your path.

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Jea Perez, 25, is a certified public accountant from the Philippines. She moved to the Czech Republic to pursue a master’s degree in finance.