Caring is sharing (the unpaid work)
A common frustration that many women have is feeling like they have two full-time jobs—one that pays and one that doesn’t. They are not wrong. In 2020, Oxfam reported that women and girls around the world dedicate 12.5 billion hours every day to unpaid care work. This primarily involves tasks at home like managing households and caring for children and the elderly. The free labor they put in is valued at a minimum of $10.8 trillion annually, and subsidizes the cost of care that families depend on, supports economies, and often makes up for the lack of social services. Yet, this crucial work is often undervalued and overlooked.
Despite strides in societal changes and shattered glass ceilings, there is still a prevalent perception that women are inherently more adept at care work, justifying the expectation for them to assume these roles. However, various research on concepts of caring have found it is both an innate and learned human trait. This means that men have the potential to be equally proficient in caregiving, but societal pressures and expectations may be fewer, reducing the incentive for them to engage in such roles. Bearing the disproportionate burden of care work has an impact on women’s economic opportunities.
UN Women estimates that women undertake at least two and a half times more unpaid household and care work than men. As a result, they have less time to engage in paid labor, or have to work longer hours, juggling their paid and unpaid tasks. This leaves women with less time they could potentially spend investing in improving their education, job skills, and overall well-being. People usually link unpaid labor with physical tasks such as cooking, cleaning, and caring for children. However, a woman’s care work at home goes beyond these physical chores. Care work involves three aspects: physical, emotional, and cognitive. Emotional labor involves managing, regulating, and suppressing one’s emotions to fulfill expectations from others, while cognitive labor refers to the required “thinking work” to ensure everything goes smoothly.
A 2019 study in the Harvard Sociological Review revealed that a woman’s household management tasks typically include predicting needs, figuring out how to meet them, making choices, and keeping track of progress. Despite being exhausting, this kind of work often goes unnoticed by their partners, leading to disagreements between couples. The amount of unpaid labor shouldered by women intensifies significantly during the Christmas season, especially for those with extended family structures: from buying gifts and writing cards to single-handedly planning get-togethers. At work, women are often assigned to organize office parties or lead the Christmas presentations. Additionally, the convergence of Christmas and flu season introduces another layer, as the responsibility for caring for sick family members predominantly falls on women.
Collectively, these factors contribute to a much higher mental, physical, and emotional strain that women experience during the holiday season in comparison to men. While there are women who feel genuinely happy about taking the lead during Christmas, it is crucial to recognize that there are others who shoulder these responsibilities because they feel they are expected to take charge and may fear being viewed as incompetent if they don’t. Social media further exacerbates the pressure, adding emotional weight on women to ensure not just a magical Christmas but also a visually perfect one. In contrast, studies show that in same-sex relationships, the traditional gender norms do not usually apply so unpaid labor, including Christmas tasks, is distributed more equitably among partners.
The gendered nature of care work begins with early socialization, where daughters are often given more household responsibilities than their male siblings. And since care work is often considered an extension of women’s inherent responsibilities rather than a professional undertaking, care-related jobs like teaching, nursing, and childcare are often remunerated inadequately in comparison to other jobs. This becomes a self-perpetuating cycle, reinforcing the idea that care work is not that important. To address this issue, we must reshape the broader narrative surrounding care work, recognizing its professional significance and advocating for fair compensation that reflects the true worth of these essential roles.
We can start by redistributing the additional labor load this Christmas. Mothers should encourage their sons and husbands to participate in holiday preparations, emphasizing the value of shared responsibility. Men should proactively help without waiting to be asked. By fostering a sense of accountability among every family member, we can create a more equitable and joyous holiday experience for all. And hopefully, we can slowly carry this shift in mindset into our everyday routines, and influence our broader context over time.
—————-eleanor@shetalksasia.com
