Ghosting
Life has gotten so complicated. I’ve developed a special way of coping: I ghost. It’s a place where I can disappear and find solace in nothingness.
As a child, I was overwhelmed by feelings. Each feeling felt like a sharp object stuck in my soul causing me so much pain. It started with a desire not to be a burden on anyone. Then it became a habit of keeping my lips sealed whenever I had something to say, regardless of whether I was excited or devastated. Then it transformed into an automatic response engraved in my system. Until it became a coping mechanism to protect others whenever I self-destruct. I was so scared that I’d infuse nothing but toxicity and negativity into their lives. And ghosting seemed like the most appropriate solution to everything.
The terms weren’t as complicated as most people think. You just have to shut yourself from the world, create an ample amount of gap that grows from centimeters to miles.
With shaking hands, I retreated to the safety of my room and cut off all ties to the outside world. My phone, once a constant source of noise and disruption, was silent. Social media updates, once eagerly anticipated, were distant memories. I shut out the world and sought refuge in the silence of my presence.
As I lay there, I felt the world disappear. My mind slowed. My worries went away. The ache in my chest stopped throbbing and I felt empty. It was like floating in a state of nothingness where the world couldn’t reach me. I lost all sense of time as I floated in this dream world. Days became nights and nights became days. The outside world ceased to exist, and its demands and expectations were replaced with a deep sense of peace.
In the depths of my ghosting, I found a strange and unexpected companion—a nameless, faceless entity I came to call my ghosting muse. It hovered beside me, a silent witness to my pain and respite. Together we would take surreal journeys through the landscapes of my mind. I would tell it my deepest fears, my most shameful secrets. The ghosting muse listened without judgment, its ghostly presence a comforting hug.
As I went deeper into the world of ghosting, I began to see myself and the world around me in a new light. I realized that the anxieties, depression, and traumas that had once consumed me were not who I was. They were just temporary states of being, fleeting clouds that passed through my mind. In my ghosting, I learned about self-care and making space for my feelings. I learned it’s not a weakness to pull away from the world but rather a necessity. With each ghosting phase, I got stronger, more resilient. The wounds that had almost consumed me were healing, replaced with self-acceptance and compassion. Ghosting was my armor, protecting me from a world that could be cruel and unforgiving.
In a world filled with constant distractions, ghosting isn’t just a way to withdraw, it’s a refuge. It shows how resilient the human spirit can be when seeking solace in the quiet moments of our existence. We aren’t defined by the worries that cloud our minds but by our ability to bounce back and weather the storm. In the depths of this self-imposed retreat, we unearth a strength we never knew we had, a wellspring of self-compassion that allows our wounds to heal and self-acceptance to flourish.
While the frequency of these ghosting phases may lessen over time, the memories serve as gentle reminders: we hold a sanctuary deep within, a safe haven where we can recharge, regroup, and emerge stronger than before. It is in this stillness, in the presence of our thoughts, that we discover the power to conquer adversity and ultimately triumph over life’s unrelenting challenges.
The ghosting muse, once my constant companion, now appears less often, a gentle reminder of the sanctuary I had found within myself. But I still cherish my ghosting phases. It’s a testament to the human spirit, its ability to find solace in the darkest of times. It’s a reminder we all have the power to create our own sanctuaries, places where we can heal, grow, and ultimately triumph over adversity.
Let’s not condemn the magic of ghosting, but rather embrace it as a necessary pause, a sacred space where the human spirit can find solace and emerge, refreshed and ready to face the world once again.
So, I embrace my ghosting phases, not as an escape but as a part of my existence. They’re the times I recharge, regroup, and prepare for what’s ahead. And as I continue on my journey, I know the ghosting muse will always be there, a silent guardian reminding me that no matter what adversity I face there’s always a sanctuary within—a place I can just be or rather cease to be.
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Francine Keith Corpuz, 19, is an industrial technology student at the Mariano Marcos State University.
