Hello

Have you ever felt like silencing notifications from your Viber thread or accidentally deleting yourself from a group? May I have a show of hands, please.

While there may be a lot of advantages for quick and free communication because of the numerous tools on hand, we have to admit that on the downside, there is a real possibility of overstepping boundaries as the fingers fly faster and the send button is hit before much thought has been given on the possible impact of content. We have to remember that words can hurt, no matter how carefully stringed they are together. My beloved mother always tells me, words once spoken are hard to take back, and it would take effort to repair what has been broken.

In the past weeks, I have played the role of being an observer rather than an active participant. There is a lot to be learned from how people interact, and in a lot of ways, can serve as springboards for self-improvement. The realizations shared are not novel nor exclusive, but intended to give you something to think about as you start your week.

While everyone has a right to his or her opinion, most lack the objectivity that is needed to help find a solution for a variety of reasons: inability to listen properly, hidden agendas, personal gain, or simply, power play. Someone once told me that life is short, so let us all do each other a favor and don’t make it shorter for anyone. Learn to mentally and verbally put on the brakes. As one wise elderly aunt would always say, when tempted to say something unsavory, ask yourself, is she or he worth a detour from heaven? There is great value in keeping silent when it is called for or momentarily taking a pause, so as not to fall victim to regrets later on.

You and I are constantly in the middle of too much noise and distraction. Not everyone has the emotional maturity, the patience to understand, or equipped with the skills to shield himself from irritants, whether it be people or situations. The tendency to give in to impulse can overrule reason, most especially if one is not in the right frame of mind. The biggest challenge is how to get there. To make the conscious choice to be more reflective than reactive requires constant work and a high level of self-awareness.

To follow are friendly reminders which hopefully may be of help.

Do not nitpick. While you may have obsessive-compulsive tendencies, 95 percent of the time, not everything will be perfect. Keep your eye on your intended goal. Loosen your death grip on things that cannot be changed.

Practice being objective. Weigh all angles and learn to give in gracefully if there is real merit in what is being brought to the table. Do not easily be dismissive of suggestions that are totally opposed to yours. Your ego might be getting in the way.

Do not attack on a personal level. Compartmentalize your discussion on the issue so there is no danger of digging into skeletons that may jeopardize friendships or operations. No one is made to be like you, or think like you, or understands things the way you do. You might just get disappointed. We are all uniquely different. Accept and work around those differences in a way that would be contributory to a more productive and peaceful coexistence.

Learn to be the bigger person. Never fight fire with fire even though it is tempting for you to have the last word. Do not power play or downgrade anyone. It speaks volumes about who you are. To earn respect, start by being respectful to others.

Learn to firmly speak upon issues in a calm and “we can solve this together manner.” While you may mean well, there is truth in the saying that the manner you say it spells a big difference. Do not join the discussion if there is no added value in what you are about to say, as most of the time, it just belabors the issue and hinders the group from arriving at a solution. Sometimes, rather than inspire people to participate, it can serve as a perpetual turnoff if they see that things are going nowhere.

Apologize if you are wrong and mean it. This does not diminish your worth as a person but adds to it. Do not delay and allow time to make it impossible to make amends as that relationship might be worth saving.