Honor traditions

I am sure that almost everyone of us grew up observing some form of tradition. Analyzing its meaning was not something that I gave much notice to until time, distance, and loss emphasized its significance.

As children, our parents wove it seamlessly into our schedule of activities, and we didn’t question why we had to stick to it or why attendance was essential. It didn’t matter how busy our lives were. We always had time for it. The countless gatherings for anniversaries and birthdays, even if the person being celebrated was long gone, always started with a Mass in our paternal grandparents’ house or a church within the vicinity, and they will always remain cherished memories. It was one of the many ways in which our parents and elders helped instill a sense of family and provide the necessary stability, a sense of security, and comfort at the most vulnerable and impressionable time in our lives. Year after year, these were occasions we looked forward to, especially during Christmas and New Year’s Eve.

Christmas Day meant: bonding over lunch until dinner, gathering as a clan in the living room to listen to updates from each head of the family, being introduced to distant relatives and new additions to the family, lining up to receive fresh and crisp bills from our grandfather, participating in various parlor games where prizes both in cash and in-kind came willingly from contributions from all those who were in the workforce, interacting with people whom we didn’t see on a regular basis, and sharing our blessings with those who had been or were integral members of our huge circle who had been under our employ. The gifts were neither flashy nor grand; the value of P20 was preserved through generations despite the relentless yearly devaluation. Parlor games were team-building activities. Being proclaimed as champions for the longest line, going to market, bring me, sudden death bingo, hit-the-pot, statue dance, and the egg catching relay were more important than the prizes. New Year’s Eve meant watching and sometimes playing with fireworks, chanting the countdown in unison, jumping at midnight in the hopes of becoming taller regardless of how old we were, praying together before having a mini speech from my late father before partaking of the “media noche,” and staying wide awake until the wee hours of the morning.

Since the pandemic, these two occasions have been the only ones celebrated. Numbers have significantly dwindled because people have passed on or moved away, and physical distance has made travel more challenging. What used to be is no longer, and it would be foolish to think that people and situations will remain unchanged. However, I would like to believe that the values intended to be shared and taught through the past reunions remain instilled within us to be passed on to future generations. There is an urgency to the matter, especially when one catches a younger member saying that they didn’t know that it was the proper thing to do. Maybe we have been remiss in teaching or modeling, or have been too permissive? Anything that remains untaught cannot be learned, and even if introduced and modeled, there should be a conscious effort to sustain it by being consistent. The traditions observed by the family are heavily influenced by the values kept, and they speak a lot about who we are and how we were brought up. Core values serve as guiding principles and even as a moral compass to delineate what is right from wrong. Traditions like family gatherings are the most opportune times for our children not only to know about their origins and their ancestry, which enhances their sense of belonging, but also to provide avenues for a better understanding of deeper respect for, and stronger commitment to upholding shared beliefs such as the importance of love for family and neighbors, respect for elders, and being men and women who are empathetic, compassionate, and persons of integrity.

With the advent of technology, we have all been temporarily deluded into thinking that we are more connected because we have the tools to talk to one another, no matter what part of the country or the world we are in. The worst part is believing that this can always be a suitable alternative to being physically present. Maybe there is a need to rethink the significance and the worth behind these precious get-togethers. Make the effort to show up for gatherings, for no one will ever have the chance to experience repeats. Linger a little longer, hold people a little tighter, and genuinely express gratitude and appreciation while they are still around to savor them.

Cheers to traditions that we hold dear. Happy New Year!