‘Let me count the ways’
The new feature in this year’s offering of Social Weather Stations (SWS) for Valentine’s Day is a clarification of how we Filipinos express our love—“Social Weather Report: 67% of adult Filipinos express their love through acts of service, making it the most common of the five love languages,” www.sws.org.ph, 2/11/2025.
The new SWS survey question is: “Sa mga sumusunod na paraan, paano ninyo ipinapahayag ang inyong pag-ibig: a. mga salita na pagpapatibay, b. mga gawa ng serbisyo, c. pagbibigay ng mga regalo, d. oras na magkasama o ‘quality time,’ e. pisikal na haplos. Among the following ways, how do you express your love: a. words of affirmation, b. acts of service, c. giving gifts, d. quality time, e. physical touch.” The interviewer offers a few examples for each.
This is a new question for us, inspired by the book, “The five love languages,” by Gary Chapman, 1992.
The choices are written on cards and shuffled before shown to the respondent; multiple responses are allowed.
The 67 in the title of the report is the percentage (67.0 to be precise) of total mentions of that answer. Next in percentage of mentions are words of affirmation (51.5), quality time (50.5), gifts (32.8), and physical touch (29.6). They add up to 231.4, i.e., 2.314 was the average number of “languages” chosen. (If every respondent chose just one, the sum would be 100; if everyone chose all five, the sum would be 500.)
But the first choice mentioned, called “top of mind,” was acts of service (38.0 percent). It was followed by words of affirmation (25.7), quality time (19.0), physical touch (8.8) and gifts (8.4); all these add up to 99.9.
Having a love life is becoming less common. Since 2002, SWS has delved into love by reporting, in the second week of February, a few Valentine-oriented items from its final survey round the previous year, in this case the SWS national survey of Dec. 12-18, 2024. A second survey item was: “Alin po sa mga ito ang naglalarawan sa inyong ‘love life’ o buhay-pag-ibig: napakasaya, sana mas masaya pa, o walang ‘love life’/buhay-pag-ibig? Which of these describes your love life: very happy, could be happier, or no love life?”
This is an old question, that allows only one answer. It was first fielded in 2002 and has been repeated 15 times since then. The latest results are: 46 percent feeling very happy with their love life, 36 percent wishing it could be happier, and 18 percent saying they don’t have any love life.
It’s the third segment that intrigues me. These were only 10 percent in 2002, and then 11 percent in 2004, the second time this was reported. The item was skipped in 2005-09 and 2013, but from 2014 has been annual. Up to 2019, those with no love life were 10-14 percent, but from 2020 onward they have been 17-19 percent, the peak being in 2023. The latter proportions are significantly higher—could this be related to the pandemic’s call for social distancing?
The latest 46 percent with a “very happy” love life matches the record-low initially set in 2004. The peak of 58 percent was in 2023, a year earlier; the 12-point drop is large and unprecedented. We might search for statistical correlates with other topics.
The gifts we most like to receive are not material. Our last Valentine question was: “Ano pong regalo ang gusto ninyong matanggap mula sa inyong minamahal sa darating na Valentine’s Day? What present do you wish to receive from your loved one next Valentine’s Day?” (One answer only.)
This item is new and completely open-ended; interviewers are trained not to prompt or ad-lib. Open-ended items call for much work, since verbal answers don’t fall into ready-made categories, but need to be individually read and absorbed until categories emerge. (SWS isn’t using AI.)
What is clear from the survey is that the gift Filipinos most prefer for Valentine’s isn’t something material. First of all, 18 percent of the answers are only classifiable as “love and companionship.”
Secondly, another 18 percent don’t want any gift for Valentine’s. Among singles/non-partnered Filipino adults, not wanting anything is 29 percent, versus 15 percent among marrieds and 14 percent among those living-in. (The December 2024 survey sample had 52 percent marrieds, 20 percent living-in, and 28 percent partner-less.)
For other non-material V-gifts, the survey percentages are: any gift from the heart, 8; a good family relationship, 8; the health of loved ones, 3; a greeting, 2; happiness, 2; a kiss, 1; a date, 1; a child, 1. All of the above non-material gifts and no-gifts-at-all account for 62 percent of Filipinos. There are other fractional items.
Among material wants, the top two are money and flowers, which get only 10 percent each.
Filipino expressions of love are countable and non-materialistic.
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Contact: mahar.mangahas@sws.org.ph.
