‘Mahal ang pangarap, hindi ang mangarap’

It was 8 p.m. on a Monday after class. I was in a jeepney heading home from the job I had applied for when the song playing in the background got my attention.

“Mahal na ang bigas, pati lata ng sardinas; ngunit kung mamahalin kita ngayon, sabay tayong magugutom.”

For others, these words may simply be about love. But for me, they carry a deeper meaning.

Reaching the dream of graduating from college is already difficult, but fighting for it becomes even harder when every step comes with a cost. It is not only the lessons that I have to think about, but also my boarding house rent, transportation, food, and other daily necessities. I have slowly realized that in this world, hard work alone is sometimes not enough, and when life becomes difficult, every dream comes with sacrifices.

I never experienced studying inside an expensive coffee shop as some students do. Not because I did not want to, but because I knew I could not afford it. Aside from the high prices of coffee, I also did not want to compare myself with other students who had more opportunities than I did.

My friends once invited me to do research in a coffee shop. That was when I truly felt the difference between our situations. I was surrounded by students using expensive laptops and tablets for studying and reviewing. The coffee they were drinking was almost equivalent to the amount I needed for food for three days. I was not jealous of what they had; instead, I was hurt by the reality that some things I needed to work extremely hard for were ordinary things for others.

That moment taught me that poverty is not only measured by the amount of money in your pocket. Sometimes, the hardest part is realizing that you have to work twice as hard just to reach a place that others can easily access.

I still cannot believe how I managed to finish two years of college without owning a laptop. There were moments when I wondered how I survived all the requirements that needed technology I did not have. While others had their own devices for projects and reviews, I relied on an old cellphone given to me by my parents.

That simple cellphone became my companion during countless nights when I needed to search for information, read lessons, and prepare for classes. Through its small screen, I tried to reach dreams that sometimes felt too far away. It may not have been as fast or convenient as the devices others used, but it reminded me that a lack of resources should never become a reason to stop pursuing my goals.

I realized that sometimes you do not notice how heavy your burdens are because your desire to survive becomes stronger than your exhaustion. When you focus on your dream, you learn to endure tiredness, hunger, and uncertainty. Some battles are not fought because they are easy, but because they are worth fighting for.

I have applied for almost every possible job I could find just to have extra money for expenses. It was never easy to balance studying and searching for work, but I continued because I knew my dream depended on my willingness to sacrifice.

I will never forget that time when I chose to walk home instead of riding a jeepney. I only had P15 left and decided to save it for a job opportunity I was hoping to get. Unfortunately, I was not accepted for that job.

It was painful to realize that even after giving everything you could, there are still times when it is not enough to achieve what you hoped for. It is difficult to fight for your dreams when your opponent is not only exhaustion and fear, but also the lack of financial support. There are days when you no longer ask yourself if you still want to dream; you only ask how you will survive that day.

It feels good to dream, but fulfilling a dream is never easy. It is easy to tell someone to dream big, but it becomes difficult when not everyone starts from the same place. Some people are given more resources, support, and opportunities, while others have to build their own path just to reach the same destination.

Education is indeed a privilege. It is an opportunity that not everyone receives. That is why even during the moments when I want to let go, I choose to hold on. Because no matter how expensive rice and other necessities become, my dream is still worth more.

I am one of the students who has seen the realities of the world. I learned that it is not enough to love the dream itself; you must also learn to love the process of reaching it.

Even though education has become expensive, it still cannot overcome my love for my dream. If I was able to survive two years of college without a laptop and with limited financial support, then I know I can continue this fight.

Because the darkness of the challenges I face today will never be stronger than the light of the dream I continue to pursue. Someday, I will look back on the nights I walked home, the moments I endured, and the times I almost gave up. And I will tell myself:

“Thank you for not giving up.”

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Frank Abellar, 20, is from Cagayan Valley and a third-year communications student.