Our ‘ichigo ichie’
There’s a Phil Connors in each one of us. That disenchanted, weary, and self-absorbed version of ourselves who, at some point, has felt hemmed in by the daily grind.
In the movie “Groundhog Day,” Connors is a cynical weatherman who finds himself stuck in a time loop in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania. He lives Feb. 2nd over and over (according to fan theory, approximately 12,000 days or almost 33 years in total) and remembers each passing day with unfailing clarity. Soon, it strikes him that nothing really matters, whatever he does.
We are all familiar with the monotony of life portrayed in the movie. In fact, it is a mirror of what we have, at times, experienced ourselves — the feeling of confinement that plagues our consciousness when our routines seem to blur into a hazy succession of days.
It comes to a point when we entertain thoughts that the repetition in our daily lives makes things somehow meaningless. So why bother? In the beginning of the movie, that’s what Connors also thought. But somewhere between his angst and introspection, he finally realizes that the opposite of what he thinks is actually what holds true.
The Japanese call this “mono no aware,” which stands as one of the core concepts of their aesthetic and sensibility. Literally translated, it means “the pathos of things,” or “an empathy towards things.” At its root, it conveys an awareness of the ephemeral, a bittersweet acceptance that life, things, circumstances, and conditions are all fleeting.
The cherry blossom appearing in its alluring loveliness, only to fall to the ground in haste, is the quintessential metaphor for a beautiful existence that is both radiant and short-lived. There is almost a reverence placed on the sakura—its brief lifespan is regarded with wistfulness, and it is for that very same reason that the flower is considered more endearing.
To encapsulate its meaning in a few words — it is because things do not last that they matter.
This is the essence of why we spare no effort in trying to capture moments. We delight, find joy when we are able to capture a smile, an emotion, or an experience. We take photographs of every moment we dare not forget; commit to memory a love that blossomed, waxed, waned, or gone awry. We recall the bliss of knowing someone who has passed on, and carry the sorrow in our hearts, knowing we can no longer regain moments shared with them.
When Maxim passed on four years ago, I remembered how the rest of us could not help but recall our last conversations, texts, and moments with him.
Most recently, with Angelita, too. A mere few days after a get-together with her beloved high school barkada, she breathed her last. Given that she was able to spend time with them one last time left me with thoughts of how that must have felt to all of them who were there: fleeting, but copious in meaning.
In the same manner, mono no aware finds its kindred spirit in the phrase “ichigo ichie.” One time, one meeting. So, if with mono no aware, we acknowledge and appreciate the impermanence of the passing of all things, with ichigo ichie we are aware that the meaning of each moment lies not in its novelty, but in aspiring to be present.
As we get ready to celebrate 40 years together as a batch, we know that not all will be present. Life has taken us in different directions and the chosen day may not suit everyone’s circumstances. Still, we might have other qualms about coming to the occasion.
I once heard someone say that reunions are only for the successful. But are they, really? We worry about being judged, but perhaps we are missing the point altogether. Reunions should not be about whether we have reached the highest points in our lives (that, after all, is subjective), but they should be about the roads we’ve traveled, the detours we’ve taken, and the stops we’ve had to make. Reunions are meant to remind us where we began and who we shared our journeys with.
More importantly, we can take a cue from Connors and be present in each moment that remains for us. Let’s show up for those who have gone before us: Norielle, Gerry, Jeanette, Jumela, Mark Anthony, Maxim, Joselito, Leonard, Manette, Jimmer, Reynaldo, Arnel, Ofelia, and Angelita.
Measured against eternity, our 40th reunion is but a speck in our lifetimes of moments. As a cherry blossom blooms in a heartbeat, our gatherings are but passing clouds on the horizon. Let the memory of our shared yesterdays inspire us to value the brief time we have in our todays.
After all, we will never be exactly the same again—and that smile that momentarily grazes our lips as we see people we have not laid eyes on for days, weeks, months, and years, that is our ichigo ichie.
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