Staying useful after 80

Dear Randy,

I read your recent reflection on your 80th birthday with the keen interest of a man who has already cleared that particular hurdle (see “On turning 80,” 2/8/26)—I am 86 now, and like you, I find the private side of aging far more profound than the public celebrations.

You spoke of the “dying process” versus the “aging process,” and while I understand the medical starkness of Dr. Ezequiel Emanuel’s threshold, I find myself standing on a different shore of thought. For me, the question is no longer esse vel non esse—to be or not to be. That is merely a matter of biological duration.

Instead, I am preoccupied with purpose.

I often think of Lt. Col. Frank Slade in ”Scent of a Woman,” who despaired because he felt he was “no longer part of the tribe.” At my age, the fear is not of a slow death, but of a purposeless life. What is the use of a sharp mind and a functioning heart if they are not harnessed to a cause?

This is why I spend my waking hours curating my “epitaph” into a book containing a collection of some of my blogs and legal treatises. It is my way of remaining “in the tribe.” I am not merely trying to stay alive; I am trying to stay useful.

As your (likely) distant cousin from Sta. Rita, I can tell you that the humus of our shared past keeps me grounded, but the purpose of my work keeps me looking forward. I don’t wish for more years for the sake of the calendar; I wish for them only as long as there is a draft to be written or a truth to be told.