The silent struggle of the middle

Growing up, I always thought we got by well, better than most. You see, we’re not rich, but I wouldn’t consider us poor either. Some would identify me as fortunate, and others would say unfortunate. The situation becomes a burden, especially in my case. I guess I can say I live in both worlds.

Being with people born into families where they can pursue things that others can only dream of makes you realize how much of life is shaped by circumstances.

Let’s be honest. The most reachable dreams depend on where you are now—it makes it easier. Having resources, connections, and the ability to explore different opportunities can make the difference between struggling and thriving. On the other hand, being with less fortunate people makes you rethink your dilemmas and how some people go through much more than you do. It forces you to look at your problems and ask yourself, are they that bad?

You may ask, if you’ve been through both, then what side are you on? Well, I’m in neither because no matter how they say it, there will always only be two categories. You’re either privileged or not. For so long, I have often told myself, “Of course you’re privileged; you’re in a private school; most people aren’t.” But identifying whether you’re privileged or not isn’t always about your place on the financial ladder. It’s about what you have that most do not.

Privilege comes in different forms. You can have supportive parents, and others don’t. You can be a lazy genius, and others have to work twice as hard for the same results. You can be emotionally well, and others may be struggling to keep themselves together. Privilege isn’t just about money—it’s about opportunity, security, and the kind of support system that can determine where you go in life.

There is always someone less fortunate than you, so you always have to be grateful. But when can you ever feel like maybe you’re the less fortunate one? That’s just how society works. Maybe that’s why when you don’t finish your food, you get scolded because “‘yung iba nga diyan walang makain.” Can you ever even be really validated to feel less privileged? It’s a phrase rooted in our culture, a reminder that others will always have it worse, but it also invalidates the struggle of those who aren’t at rock bottom yet are still struggling.

Honestly, can you ever be validated to feel less privileged? That’s a question that lingers in my mind. Just because someone has it worse doesn’t mean your problems automatically disappear, right? At the same time, it doesn’t mean it should consume you.

Sometimes, I linger on the thought of where I truly belong. There are days when I feel fortunate—when I can spend time on things without a worry, when I can study at a decent school, when I have a roof over my head and a meal on the table. Then there are days when I feel like I’m at a disadvantage—when I see people who don’t worry about their financial limitations, who chase their dreams without considering if they can truly afford it, who have connections that make success undeniably guaranteed for them.

It’s difficult to navigate life where you exist in the in-between, when you’re neither struggling enough to be considered as unfortunate nor thriving enough to be fully privileged. It’s that sense of guilt when you complain and a fostered resentment when you see others living life with a silver spoon, when you have to work twice as hard to even attain an ounce of what they have.

I guess at the end of the day, “privilege” is just a matter of perspective. What we lack, we notice. What we have, we take for granted. What if the true challenge is to acknowledge both—to be grateful for what we have while recognizing the struggles we face? To understand that privilege is not just black and white but a spectrum where everyone exists in different shades of advantage and disadvantage?

Perhaps the best thing we can do is to use whatever privilege we have to make a difference, no matter how small it is, for those who have even less.

I’ve come to finally realize that rather than focusing too much on whether I am privileged or not, it’s better to ask myself what to do with what I have, right? I guess no one chooses where they are born, but the choice they do have is how to move forward. It’s true that maybe I don’t have the same privilege as others, but I have skills, resilience, and the ability to push forward despite odds not being in my favor at times. Instead of being stuck in the middle, I can be a bridge that understands both sides of the spectrum, learning from both experiences and making sure that I do the best with what I have.

Ultimately, privilege is complex, and life isn’t fair. In truly recognizing that, maybe we can create a meaningful life, not just for ourselves, but for those around us, too.

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Marienette Josef S. Hijastro, 16, is a student at the Ateneo de Naga University with a keen interest in social issues, privilege, and personal growth.