When the joke punches down
My first experience of the “happiest place on Earth” was in 2000, when my family visited Disneyland in California with my aunt and her family. I can hardly remember the rides, but I vividly remember the kindness of one attendant.
My aunt’s youngest son, Marcus, has autism. He is unable to speak and has substantial support needs. He has very specific preferences and routines, and disruptions to these can cause him considerable distress. At the time, my cousin ate only a limited selection of food and refused anything unfamiliar. So going to Disneyland required major preparations, including packing a box of McDonald’s fries.
At the entrance, we were told that outside food was prohibited and that we could simply buy fries inside. My aunt patiently explained that Marcus would refuse the fries if they came in different packaging. The attendant understood and let us in. It was a brief encounter, but the moment stayed with me because I saw the relief and gratitude in my aunt’s eyes. That attendant’s kindness may have seemed like a small gesture, but it meant the world to a mother who constantly worried about raising a child in a world that did not always understand or accommodate him.
When my aunt passed away more than a decade ago, the world had already begun to grow more understanding of neurodivergent individuals. Still, she feared leaving Marcus behind, knowing he would face new challenges as an adult. One of her last requests to my mom was to help make sure he would always be taken care of.
I thought of my aunt and Marcus last week as a controversy revealed how our society continues to view neurodivergent people. In a now-deleted episode of the podcast “Machong Chismisan,” one of the hosts joked that a famous celebrity’s son was worthless because he has autism. The other hosts laughed.
The show and the hosts have since apologized. But the incident merits examining what it reveals about our attitudes toward neurodivergent people and our understanding of human dignity. Psychologist Lizzie Garilao, MA, RPsy, explained that making fun of people with neurodevelopmental conditions or cognitive differences reinforces stereotypes about their ability to contribute to society, diminishing the value placed on their lives. “It perpetuates an idea that it is okay to make fun of and even exclude those who are different,” Garilao said. “It dehumanizes individuals and reinforces a more hostile environment.”
The host’s remarks also reflect a problematic assumption: that human dignity is measured by one’s abilities, independence, or capacity to contribute to society rather than being inherent in every person. This mindset creates an environment where people come to believe that their worth and safety are conditional. “When young people watch adults in public or online spaces mock those who are different, they can absorb that message and believe that if they show weakness, fail, or express difference, they too may be ridiculed or deemed worthless,” Garilao shared.
The controversy also raised questions about neurodivergence and accountability. In his apology, the host said that he has also been diagnosed with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), explaining that he struggled with impulse control and filtering his thoughts. He acknowledged that his diagnosis did not excuse his remarks.
While difficulty with impulse control can be associated with ADHD, it does not absolve someone of responsibility. “Using ADHD as a way to explain what had happened seems to erase personal responsibility and can even perpetuate that neurodiverse individuals have no sense of agency,” Garilao said. “It also invalidates the efforts that many neurodivergent individuals put into practicing self-regulation, empathy, and accountability every single day.”
What makes this controversy even more troubling is that the episode was recorded and presumably reviewed before it was uploaded. At several points in that process, they could have edited out the comments. Instead, an editorial decision was made to include those disparaging remarks and offer them up as entertainment.
Humor can powerfully expose systemic inequalities, hold those in power to account, and express dissent in creative, enduring ways. Instead, the hosts used humor to punch down, reinforcing the misconceptions and stigma that families, professionals, and advocates have spent decades trying to dismantle.
I think again of my aunt and the relief on her face when that Disneyland attendant chose understanding over rigid adherence to a rule. I also think of the fear my aunt carried in her final days, knowing she would no longer be there to protect her son from a world that could sometimes be unkind.
A careless, harmful remark made to a public audience does not simply disappear into the void. It shapes mindsets, reinforces attitudes, and influences the environment in which others must live. Not everyone is fortunate enough to have a platform. Those who do have a responsibility to consider the kind of world they are helping create.
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