You’ve changed. School has, too

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Going back to school means returning to classmates who may have changed in ways both visible and invisible, teachers with new expectations, friendships that shifted over the summer, and even a version of yourself that no longer feels quite the same.

Like every generation before them, today’s students are trying to belong while carving out an identity of their own. The difference is that they are doing it in a world that never really slows down. Summer vacation may pause classes, but not social media, breaking news, wars, disasters, political conflict, or the pressure of everyone else’s highlight reels. By the first day of school, many have already spent weeks processing more information than previous generations ever had to.

“Adults often underestimate how daunting the school year ahead feels. Coming from summer, we’re excited to see our friends again, but at the same time, we’re leaving behind months of freedom,” alias Kath Dela Cruz, a senior high student says.

“A year is a long time. Thinking about all the classes, projects, exams, and challenges ahead can feel overwhelming.”

Her answer captures something many adults forget. Parents often see a fresh start. Students see 10 months of projects, deadlines, expectations, friendships, and figuring out where they fit in.

Carol Macawile, a registered guidance counselor with years of experience who has also worked in academia, says those mixed emotions are perfectly normal. “The first few weeks of school often serve as an adjustment period, so it is normal to observe students who are experiencing anxiety and excitement at the same time.”

“Older students may be excited to reunite with their classmates and friends, but at the same time seem stressed about the challenges that the new school year will bring, particularly in their academics,” she adds.

Academics and emotional well-being

School doesn’t begin with textbooks alone. During the summer, families change, financial realities shift, friendships drift apart, and many young people spend months trying to figure out where they belong. Those experiences don’t reflect on report cards, but they walk into classrooms with them.

Macawile says the students who struggle the most are often the easiest to miss. “These would be the students who, on the outside, appear to be doing well in their studies and seem to be well-adjusted—but on the inside, they are actually struggling with anxiety, loneliness, academic pressure, or personal issues. These students tend to be overlooked because they do not outwardly express their concerns to their parents, teachers, or friends.”

She has also noticed a shift over the years, observing “higher levels of stress and emotional overload.” While more young people are willing to talk about mental health, she says they also need help distinguishing the normal stress of adjusting to school from concerns that require professional support.

Beyond academics

Summer vacations once meant slowing down. Today, many students spend the break juggling tutorial classes, sports, music lessons, family commitments, and screen time, leaving little room for the kind of idle boredom previous generations once took for granted. At the same time, they are consuming far more information than we ever did.

Licensed psychologist Raph Doval-Santos believes the pandemic accelerated that shift. “Today, the COVID-19 lockdowns meant that people had to wrestle with the internet and all its good and bad effects all at once,” he says.

“We’re talking early exposure to sensitive material, to language and concepts many parents cannot (or do not choose to) guide children about. And much of it is delivered to us with a lot of speed.”

Students now return to school after months of scrolling through distressing news, online conflict, disasters, comparisons, and an endless stream of opinions. Macawile sees the effects in practice. “Constant exposure to social media, distressing news, and current events highly affects students’ emotional readiness and adjustment to school.”

She says many arrive “emotionally drained, mentally distracted, and more anxious or hypervigilant.”

Counseling conversations reflect that reality. “While a lot of parents and teachers may think that students are mainly concerned about their academics, students actually talk more about their personal (emotional) and social concerns,” she says.

They worry about fitting in, finding genuine friends, living up to expectations, and discovering who they are becoming.

What students need

If Dela Cruz could ask one thing of parents and teachers during those first few weeks, it would be patience.

“Students don’t need immediate pressure to perform better. Students are still adjusting, not just academically but emotionally as well,” Dela Cruz says. “Sometimes, they simply need a little more time to settle into their new routine. The first few weeks can feel overwhelming, and I think a little patience, encouragement, and understanding can go a long way to set the school year right.”

Macawile offers advice that is both simple and practical. “Sometimes, even a quick and sincere pangungumusta or ‘checking in’ can make a difference.”

She encourages parents and teachers to pay attention not only to what students say, but also to “what is not being said.” Even when children are not ready to open up, knowing someone is willing to listen without judgment helps build a culture of care and support.

School readiness is about more than academics. While schools teach knowledge and skills, it’s the guidance, values, social and emotional skills, and a parent’s unwavering presence that prepare children for life beyond the classroom. These are what help them cope, adapt, and thrive—not just in school, but as human beings.

What to notice during the first month of school

Parents don’t have to wait for a crisis before checking in. Small changes in behavior can open the door to meaningful conversations. Watch for changes that are unusual for your child, such as:

Becoming noticeably quieter, more withdrawn, or less interested in spending time with family or friends
Reluctance to talk about school, classmates, or their day
Frequent complaints of headaches or stomachaches, especially before school
Irritability, emotional outbursts, or tearfulness that seem out of character
Changes in sleep or appetite
A student who continues to excel academically but seems persistently worried, exhausted, or emotionally disconnected
Losing interest in activities they usually enjoy

Some anxiety and emotional ups and downs are a normal part of adjusting to a new school year. However, if these changes persist for several weeks, become more intense, or begin to affect your child’s daily functioning at home, in school, or with friends, consider consulting a licensed mental health professional or your child’s school guidance counselor.