Whose place is it to comment on somebody else’s body?
To care for someone is to perform a delicate balancing act. It is to place one foot in front of the other on a wire suspended hundreds of feet in the air. How do you draw the line between expressing concern for another individual and being insensitive to the ways in which they’re entitled to their own decisions?
How do you know if you are truly responding with care or merely imposing the limits of your imagination?
A new etiquette
As we continue to reflect upon the standards and expectations forced upon women, and the toxicity of tabloid culture in the 2000s and 2010s, we begin to develop a new etiquette surrounding comments on other people’s bodies.
We know now that it is unacceptable to decide on a person’s health based on appearance alone. We know now not to dictate what a healthy body ought to look like or to subscribe to a singular manifestation of health. We’ve also learned that the indications we once relied on to classify different bodies—like body mass index (BMI)—do not actually offer us a holistic understanding of our complex biological systems.
There are two major reasons as to why one must think twice about commenting on another’s body: one, the human body is so singular and complex that doctors themselves may never see the full picture, and two, one’s relationship to their appearance is never without a history of trauma—on both a social and personal level.
So how does one go about expressing concern? Amid ongoing scrutiny surrounding Ariana Grande’s body, how do we respond with more sensitivity?
The discourse surrounding Ariana Grande’s body
Following the release of the music video to her eighth studio album’s titular track, “Petal,” Grande’s social media pages have been overwhelmed with comments on the drastic change in her body.
Fans, dietitians, and feminist advocates have all weighed in on the discourse. But what sets these comments apart from the familiar barrage of body shaming we’ve seen happen to celebrities like Jessica Simpson and Britney Spears is that many of the comments are shared under the veil of concern.
Just this Sunday, Grande announced that she was withdrawing from the limelight. She will effectively be exiting from next summer’s West End revival of “Sunday in the Park with George,” which she was set to star in alongside her “Wicked” co-star Jonathan Bailey.
“Ariana will be taking a step back from the visibility after she completes the ‘Eternal Sunshine’ tour. She looks forward to finishing the tour and ending it on a high note, both healthily and happily, and then taking a much-deserved break from public-facing work and appearances, which has led to endless, ongoing public scrutiny,” says a representative for Grande.
Are the comments out of line?
Many of the comments are quick to diagnose Grande with an eating disorder without any formal evidence to support such claims. Howard even went so far as to name what she believes Grande is suffering from. While discourse surrounding the glorification of thinness and the rise of weight-loss-inducing drugs such as Ozempic is an important cultural conversation, no single person should be the site of such scrutiny.
We are witnessing an alarming rate at which celebrities are shrinking into 24-inch waistlines and starkly pronounced collarbones, and this phenomenon should be taken seriously. But not at the expense of a living, breathing woman, and the dignity she is currently being denied.
In her Chicago stop of the “Eternal Sunshine” tour, Grande responded to reactions to her decision to take a break. She addressed her fans in a heartfelt four-minute speech, assuring audiences that her decision was not reactive, and that the onslaught of negativity she has been facing in no way “[ruined things for her].”
“I just want to be very, very clear,” she added, “multiple things can be true at the same time. Yes, boundaries, they need to be set… And also, this can be and will continue to be the greatest experience of my professional and creative life.”
Her words are strikingly resonant in light of the discourse currently taking the internet by storm. Registered dietitian, author, and influencer Abbey Sharp also shared sentiments on maintaining boundaries and creating a more sensitive framework through which to engage in these kinds of conversations. She emphasizes the importance of veering the comments away from any individual body, and toward a culture complicit in the normalizing and glorification of disordered eating.
“I think we’ve created this false choice in the Ariana Grande discourse where you’re either someone who is in the comment section commenting on her body or you’re someone who refuses to say anything at all,” she says, “I don’t think either of those positions are quite right.”
What needs to be addressed
Sharp’s observation that the discourse has been dominated by a false dichotomy is immensely insightful for those who are deeply uncomfortable with the scrutiny Grande is facing, but also feel compelled to acknowledge the potential harm her platform may inadvertently cause young women.
“It’s not actually about Ariana or her body,” Sharp adds. “This is about what happens when certain body types become symbols of success, desirability, self-control, or worth in our culture. Ariana did not create this problem. Diet culture did, the wellness industry did, the beauty industry did, the entertainment industry did.”
It’s important to question the norms reinforced by popular culture, and yes, it is equally important to understand the nuances of how we go about these conversations. As well-intentioned as these comments may seem (though some are not), are they really doing any good?
In trying to express concern for Grande, are we once again normalizing this invasive degree of inspection toward women everywhere? If so, who’s next?
“Don’t comment on my body, do not reply / Your business is yours and mine is mine,” Grande sings in her 2024 hit single “Yes, And?” She has even spoken up multiple times about how hurtful and ultimately ineffective comments on her appearance have been.
That said, the issue is not a matter of politely staying silent when a person’s appearance may have alarming implications. It’s about knowing how to conduct the conversation and determining what truly needs to be addressed.
Read the full story on lifestyle.inquirer.net
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