Confessions of a fresh grad employee
Over text with my long-distance best friend, she said something that really resonated. It had been my first week on the job (I’m still a few days short of my one-month mark), and I had just gone through multiple training sessions and orientations. “The most valuable corporate skill you need to learn is emotional regulation,” she says.
In one brief sentence, she had encapsulated what it was like to be a first-time employee, and had made me feel seen in a way I hadn’t realized I needed.
So if you’re new to the job, and nothing is particularly wrong, but you’re feeling a little disoriented, I’ve got some good news for you—it’s perfectly normal, and you’re not alone. Here’s what you need to know.
Journaling isn’t the only solution
There was a time in my life when I thought that journaling and talking things through were the best way to cope with any kind of emotional upheaval. But I’m beginning to learn that there are other ways to take care of yourself.
This is not to say you shouldn’t journal or talk to your best friends (that’s certainly what I did), but that verbal processing isn’t a superior coping method. Just because it appears more direct doesn’t mean it is actually pushing you toward the necessary confrontations you need to be making.
Sometimes, meditation or other such mindfulness activities can become better approaches. Sometimes, exercising or taking a walk can be just as healing as hashing it out on the page. The point is to acknowledge how you’re feeling, to take time for yourself, and to not dismiss what may be a source of fear, loneliness, or discomfort for you at this time in your life.
Journaling can help, but journaling alone might be counterproductive. Try something that will really challenge you to face your relationship with yourself.
Don’t be too quick to judge
You’re fresh out of college, and you’re thrust into a new environment. Try not to be too hard on yourself. It’s easy to expect that you will be high-performing, especially if you were once an academic achiever. But remember that this is not only your first time pursuing your field professionally, but it’s also your first time being this responsible for yourself.
It’s okay if you’re experiencing growing pains and grieving a more carefree time in your life.
You also need to remember that early struggle is a good sign. You may not know how you feel about your work yet. It may not be the job you’ll see for yourself long-term. But you don’t have to decide this early on. Any conclusion you make now will be premature. You’re looking for signs and clues of who you will become—if you’re struggling, it means that your new self is emerging.
Celebrate your small successes
You’re in charge of setting your own milestones. While it is someone else’s job to assess your performance, it is your job to identify your own moments of success. In your struggle to adjust to working life, it can be easy to dismiss or overlook the progress you’ve been making. But part of regulating your emotions is rerouting self-criticism.
Instead of beating yourself up for small mistakes at work (you’re bound to make them), or harping on how difficult it has been for you to find your footing, remind yourself of all the times you’ve figured it out on your own. Remind yourself how capable you are in solving problems and offering solutions.
Don’t be afraid to reach out to your colleagues
We’re all used to answering “how are you?” with an auto-response. “I’m okay” or “I’m doing fine.” But once in a while, maybe you can use the question as an opportunity to open up to the people around you. They’ve definitely been there, and sometimes that’s all the consolation you need.
It also helps to reach out to them for practical concerns—be it immediate support in the work you’re doing or advice from industry veterans. Letting them know how you’re feeling can be an early bonding exercise and will also lead to a more trusting professional relationship.
The good thing about being a fresh grad employee is that it calls back to your first days in school, except without all the teenage angst. It’s crazy to think about how much you’ve grown since then, and in a couple of years, you’ll be thinking the same thing about this very moment.
